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Even When Cancer Is Part Of The Plan

Posted Mar 18 2013 12:13am
What a difference a few years can make on the same calendar day. This day holds a lot of memories for me. Let's start 10 years ago in 2003. Jeff and I closed on our house that day. It was such an exciting time. We were young and first time home buyers. We had big plans for our life in this house. Gavin and Garrett hadn't yet joined the family. But we already had big visions for what our home would be like once we would start a family. That time holds such sweet memories for me.

Fast forward 5 years to 2008. We had the same house, 2 sweet boys added to the mix, some great memories made along the way, and lots of plans for our family. Garrett was 14 months old. Gavin was nearly 3 and 1/2.

Gavin had begun having some symptoms that we couldn't quite figure out, but had printed out a list to take in to the pediatrician {'cause that's how we roll -- and the doctors that have treated Gavin along the way can fully attest to that!}. He had become a picky eater nearly overnight. He had experienced a few headaches. He had been vomiting with increasing frequency and mostly in the mornings. He was irritable, which was not at all like him. He didn't want to walk down the stairs, but requested being carried. He didn't want to play on the playground equipment anymore or swing. He just wasn't quite right.

So, on this day 5 years ago, we took Gavin to the pediatrician. Told he had developed reflux, we assumed the doctor was right and began him on reflux medication. I asked friends for a good pediatric GI specialist recommendation. We needed to get this reflux thing looked into by a specialist, right? What 3 year old develops reflux out of nowhere? Would Gavin need to be on reflux meds for the rest of his life? That would be awful, don't you think?

We didn't yet know what was in store.  We hadn't planned for the cancer diagnosis that would be given in just a few more days.

St. Patrick's Day 2003 had been the start of a new journey in our life. And St. Patrick's Day 2008 was the start of another new journey in our life.  

Oh, how I'd love to go back to 2008 and give myself a hug.  A hug that says more than words could ever say.  {Oh, I'd have a lot of things to say to the 2008 me if I could go back and do just that.  That's another blog post.}  But for St. Patrick's Day 2008, I'd want to give myself a hug.  Because I was going to need a lot of hugs in the coming days.

I would give myself a hug and slowly back away.  Far enough removed, saying not a word.  Close enough to see it all clearly, fully aware of what was just around the bend.  And I'd pray for what was about to unfold in 2008.

And here we are on St. Patrick's Day 2013.  We still don't know what's just around the bend.  But Jesus does.  And on this day, I picture Him giving me a hug.  It's a hug that says more than words could ever say.  He's been there since the beginning so He's seen it all.  Our most loyal intercessor, He knows more about the struggles and victories Gavin has encountered over the last 5 years than even Jeff and I are privy to.  While we were shocked to see it all unfold, He's not been surprised in the least.

He had plans for Gavin back in 2003.
He had plans for Gavin back in 2008. 
And He has plans for Gavin in 2013.

He is good.
Even when cancer is part of the plan. 

Much love,
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