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A Gift

Posted Jan 08 2010 10:34am

In Madison's birth story I mentioned the wonderful nurse who was present during my labour and ultimately the birth of our Little Miss Sunshine. She was a ray of sunshine herself. The gift I needed to help us through that last leg of the terrifying journey. She was truly a Godsend...

I just finished writing her a little note. A 'thank you' note of sorts. How can you just say 'thank you' to someone who undoubtedly brought such peace and serenity to a very emotional and anxious time...

January 8, 2010

Dear L-----,

I don’t think I could ever find the words to express how grateful I was to have you as my nurse during Madison’s labour. I truly believe that you were sent especially to us that evening.. .maybe we were sent to each other. I must admit that I was never a big believer in ‘signs’ or ‘fate’, however, since losing our Nicholas I can’t help but believe, wholeheartedly, that our babies send us subtle reassurances when we need them most. You were my reassurance. My light. My strength. I thank you for holding my hand. I thank you for your encouraging words. I thank you for your tears and your honesty. I thank you for trusting me with the story of your precious Angel, J----. Maddie sure was/is a lucky little girl. She has two very extraordinary Angels watching over her.

I wish so many things for you, L----. I wish you peace. I wish you love. I wish you hope. Most of all, I wish for you a little brother or sister for J-----. I know you said that you were trying to become pregnant again. Please hold onto that dream. Dream big. You deserve to add to your beautiful family and I am confident that you will.

The journey of becoming and being pregnant again after such a tragic, life-altering loss is such a difficult one. It is a pregnancy no longer filled with naivety and innocence, but it most definitely is one that is filled with hope and beautiful anticipation. You will get your happy ending and J----- will help you every step of the way, just as Nicholas did for us.

In the dark and tortures days that followed Nicholas’ death a very special friend gave us a pair of sweet, delicate Angel Wings. They now hang gently over his footprint and photo frame. I smile every time I look at them. As I have struggled to cope with our loss over the last several months I knew that I wanted to do something… anything to help ease the pain of not having my son in my arms. I decided to try to re-create the Angel Wings and offer some small, simple comfort to other families facing similar nightmares. I created two blogs. One to remember Nicholas. To write about my feelings. To be free to express the deepest, darkest emotions. And another to honour his beautiful, short life by offering Angel Wings to other parents of Angels. Below are the two links, if and when you would like to have a look.

I took the liberty of making a pair of Angel Wings for J-----. I hope you don’t mind. I truly hope that you can find a special spot for them in your home and that they can bring a small bit of comfort to your heart.

You are an amazing, strong, caring and beautiful spirit. J----- is a very lucky little guy to have a Mommy like you.

Lots of love to you,

Nichloas’ Touch -
Angel Wings Memorial Boutique -
My email address – (would love to keep in touch)
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