I am honored to have Jill Rapley as our guest author today teaching us the 7 Steps to Creating Good Relationships with Your Children. " http://www.successfulrelationshipsblog.com. Welcome Jill.
Do you think it is possible in this day of extreme rebellion, lack of respect, and self-centered “ideals” to still enjoy a loving yet respectful relationship with your children?
Well that does greatly depend on you as a parent. No, I am not talking about being a perfect parent; none of us have quite reached that characteristic yet. And neither are there perfect children (except yours, of course :)
We do live in a difficult age for children growing up and their parents trying to guide them. But there are certainly some things parents can do to help point children in the right direction and give them an opportunity to win this race called life.
1. Set the example.
I am sure you have heard the saying “Actions speak louder than words”. How about “Your actions are so loud I can’t hear what you are saying”. That’s a little stronger, right?
Well this is exactly what your children will be thinking if your actions do not line up with what you say you expect of them.
2. Be careful with what you let them get away with when they are young.
It may be cute (to some) to watch young Johnny, who is after all just a baby, doing things that you may have no intention of letting him get away with when he is 4 or 5 years old once the “cuteness” wears off.
But it will be too late by then. Johnny’s brain is already programmed to know that it’s ok, even funny, to hit Dad with a baseball bat made of sponge. Only now he is older his new baseball bat is made of wood, and Dad no longer laughs. Johnny is confused!
3. Be fair.
This is especially essential when there are two or more children in the family. Never, and I mean *NEVER* favor one above the other. Both or all are equal in their own right and need to be treated the same.
4. Honor Your Word
The one sure way to teach your children to trust you is to be trustworthy! This means doing what you say you will do. Sadly the age old story is repeated time and again. Dad promises Johnny he will take time to see the football game on Saturday morning where his son will be playing. He would not miss it for anything - well almost anything!
Then Dad gets a phone call. This is the big deal he has been waiting for and his promise to Johnny is soon forgotten are he excitedly assures his client he has no commitments on Saturday morning and of course he can make the presentation.
This scenario is repeated so many times that there are scores of movies made with it.
Once teenage years arrive a heart broken and frustrated Dad (or Mum) is left wonder why teenage son or daughter won’t confide in them. Don’t they trust Mum and/or Dad? NO why should they!
5. Respect Your Spouse
Remember, a child will imitate what he SEES long before he will respond to what he is told. If Dad is constantly putting Mum (or Mom) down by making fun of her cooking and laughing at her attempts to garden, then the children will quickly join in. They will grow up “knowing” that adults are a joke.
When this sort of thing happens in the home it will be difficult, even impossible, to teach the children to respect their mother (or father) or any other adult for that matter.
6. Never argue in front of the children
This is another area that teaches the children by example. When they see and hear their parents arguing, trust will falter and respect will dwindle. Don’t do it! (Its that simple).
7. What is your value system like
There is absolutely no way you can try and teach little Johnny not to cuss if he hears those words in the home.
And how can you teach him not to steal if he sees those company brand pens and notepad all over the house?
Make sure YOU are living the values you want to teach your children. They must be your core values too, because who youARE
teaches more than what you say. (More about that in a future article).
Above all, all of the above must be applied with love. Love is not listed as a "step" because it is intertwined with EVERYTHING. Withoutgenuine love, (and sometimes it may need to be Tough Love) nothing will work as it should. Read further at: "http://successfulrelationshipsblog.com/tough-love"
Reprinted from the author Jill Rapley at "http://www.successfulrelationshipsblog.com"
You can find Jill Rapley at "http://www.twitter.com/kiwichamp
I am honored to have Jill Rapley as our guest author today teaching us the 7 Steps to Creating Good Relationships with Your Children. " http://www.successfulrelationshipsblog.com. Welcome Jill.
Do you think it is possible in this day of extreme rebellion, lack of respect, and self-centered “ideals” to still enjoy a loving yet respectful relationship with your children?
Well that does greatly depend on you as a parent. No, I am not talking about being a perfect parent; none of us have quite reached that characteristic yet. And neither are there perfect children (except yours, of course :)
We do live in a difficult age for children growing up and their parents trying to guide them. But there are certainly some things parents can do to help point children in the right direction and give them an opportunity to win this race called life.
1. Set the example.
I am sure you have heard the saying “Actions speak louder than words”. How about “Your actions are so loud I can’t hear what you are saying”. That’s a little stronger, right?
Well this is exactly what your children will be thinking if your actions do not line up with what you say you expect of them.
2. Be careful with what you let them get away with when they are young.
It may be cute (to some) to watch young Johnny, who is after all just a baby, doing things that you may have no intention of letting him get away with when he is 4 or 5 years old once the “cuteness” wears off.
But it will be too late by then. Johnny’s brain is already programmed to know that it’s ok, even funny, to hit Dad with a baseball bat made of sponge. Only now he is older his new baseball bat is made of wood, and Dad no longer laughs. Johnny is confused!
3. Be fair.
This is especially essential when there are two or more children in the family. Never, and I mean *NEVER* favor one above the other. Both or all are equal in their own right and need to be treated the same.
4. Honor Your Word
The one sure way to teach your children to trust you is to be trustworthy! This means doing what you say you will do. Sadly the age old story is repeated time and again. Dad promises Johnny he will take time to see the football game on Saturday morning where his son will be playing. He would not miss it for anything - well almost anything!
Then Dad gets a phone call. This is the big deal he has been waiting for and his promise to Johnny is soon forgotten are he excitedly assures his client he has no commitments on Saturday morning and of course he can make the presentation.
This scenario is repeated so many times that there are scores of movies made with it.
Once teenage years arrive a heart broken and frustrated Dad (or Mum) is left wonder why teenage son or daughter won’t confide in them. Don’t they trust Mum and/or Dad? NO why should they!
5. Respect Your Spouse
Remember, a child will imitate what he SEES long before he will respond to what he is told. If Dad is constantly putting Mum (or Mom) down by making fun of her cooking and laughing at her attempts to garden, then the children will quickly join in. They will grow up “knowing” that adults are a joke.
When this sort of thing happens in the home it will be difficult, even impossible, to teach the children to respect their mother (or father) or any other adult for that matter.
6. Never argue in front of the children
This is another area that teaches the children by example. When they see and hear their parents arguing, trust will falter and respect will dwindle. Don’t do it! (Its that simple).
7. What is your value system like
There is absolutely no way you can try and teach little Johnny not to cuss if he hears those words in the home.
And how can you teach him not to steal if he sees those company brand pens and notepad all over the house?
Make sure YOU are living the values you want to teach your children. They must be your core values too, because who you
ARE
Above all, all of the above must be applied with love. Love is not listed as a "step" because it is intertwined with EVERYTHING. Withoutgenuine love, (and sometimes it may need to be Tough Love) nothing will work as it should. Read further at: "http://successfulrelationshipsblog.com/tough-love"
Reprinted from the author Jill Rapley at "http://www.successfulrelationshipsblog.com"
You can find Jill Rapley at "http://www.twitter.com/kiwichamp