I have a 5 year old son who is having some trouble right now. He just started kindergarten this year and is doing GREAT there - he has gotten good marks for behavior EVERY day so far. The good behavior stops as soon as he gets home though. He has been really jealous of his 2 year old sister and has recently talked about "killing" her and my husband and me. This has been a real time of transition as we put our house on the market, recently sold it and we just bought a new house. The whole process of that has been really tough on the whole family, and in the last week, we've been hearing this talk of killing. The first time he said something about it, it seemed to be totally out of the blue. He was about to get into the bathtub and was like, "I'm trying really hard to not think about killing sister." He said he was trying really hard not to, but then he started thinking about killing me and my husband as well. I was stunned! I didn't know what to say at first and had to hide the tears in my eyes from him. I am just not sure how to handle this. I know it's been a really trying time for all of us with showing the house, keeping it clean and looking at houses all the time with a new school looming to boot. I know there's a lot on his plate, but I need to address this and am not sure what to do. Can you offer any suggestions?
thanks for writing. i have a 5 yr old too. that is my experience in a nutshell, so this is not coming from a pro , just a mom.
I think that compassion is the best teacher at this age. no matter how mad i get, no matter how i show my son that i am angry with his choices. . .... ...i don't generally spank at all, but have a couple times when he dug his nails into my arm. .going upstairs for a time out. . .or another time he was physical with me. .
anyway, i suggest compassion. the times are changing. good change is difficult even . . esp for this age. i find. i have a hard time getting our son to not 'lose it ' when it is time to leave the house for even skiing, which he loves to do. . .
i suggest that you really talk to him i words to convey pure understanding of how hard it is for him. jealousy is so hard for them. he was an only child for 3 years. mine is still an only. i can ONLY imagine!
let him know that you are a friend who can empathize. that you know how he feels. try to play exclusively with him for at least 3o minutes. . get crazy, turn up the tunes, dance out the uncomfy feelings he has that tell him to eliminate that which is difficult for him now.
i love children and i know that love and understanding have been my son's most effective education thus far
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