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Save A Baker

Posted Nov 29 2008 12:20pm

Anytime I hear mention of Atkins or low carb these days, I want to shove said person headfirst into a mixer bowl filled with poolish, or alternatley beat them on the head with a peel and stick them into the deck oven. Considering we produce over 1000 kilos of bread stuffs nightly, and this sin't even taking into account Tuesday's production..which will be for all wholesale and retail orders for Thanksgiving day, I think all you Atkin-ers are CHEATING.

I was contemplating the banes and niceties of my work existence recently, and realized that until Thanksgiving passes, it is almost all bane. Some highlights include

NASTY OVEN MITTS: And I wonder why all the rack bakers have rashes. Yummy crusty oily goodness.

S HAS BEEN BORN AGAIN: Being chased through the shape room while he explains how Jesus will save me, and his pastor will lay hands on me and heal me. This is very amusing, considering S has such a thick East Indian accent.

DINNER ROLLS: Tuesday night has an order for 300 dozen, on top of the 180 dozen usually done. Guess who gets to snip crosses into the top of every roll? Here's a hint..I already have carpal tunnel syndrome. I've been forgoing the double snip the past few months, unless W is present. Then I go hide in the walk in to snip and try to hide the rolls until after they are baked and nothing can be done about it.

S's W IMPERSONATION: His is so dead on, even with the thick East Indian accent, the first time he did it I could feeeeel my sphincter loosen.

CRAPPY SATCHEL BAGS: Have you ever lugged 4 bags filled with 60 pounds of rolls and twists across a crowded bakery and had them split open? No? It isn't fun. Especially when rolls roll.

So please, save a baker. Buy Pillsbury Crescent rolls instead.

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