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Peering Through The Narcotic Haze

Posted Nov 29 2008 12:20pm

Having surgery can be funny. Funny ha-ha and funny peculiar.

It's funny when the anesthesiologist compares the pain of the procedure to "having a bikini wax". It's not funny when you wake up and puke on yourself.

It's funny when they tell you what people say while stoned out of their minds. It's not funny when one looks at your EKG and asks the other " Is that what I think it is?"

It's funny when you pass out in recovery due to the multiple pain medications being injected. It's not funny when the nurses wake you up because your blankie has fallen down and you're flashing your boobs to the poor kids across the room recovering from tonsilectomies.

It's funny trying to read all the magazines in Spanish in the pre surgery waiting room. It's not funny to look up at the TV and constantly hear about Terry Shiavo before surgery. Thankfullness is when they include a health care proxy form in your registration pre surgery.

It's funny trying to manuver your big behind over a strainer every time you have to pee. It's not funny when it looks like someone has slit their wrists over the toilet bowl.

It's funny when you have to take Vicodin every 6 hours hours and your mom gets to see you stoned silly and hiccuping. It's not funny when you're passing stone fragments while she's in the bathroom and have to puke in the kitchen sink.

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