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Making People Fat

Posted Nov 29 2008 12:20pm

For those lacking in parenting skills, this is what happens when you call your slightly chubby child fat and try and put her on a diet. When she's 7. And was so totally not even close to fat, at least not then.

She grows up nice and chunky, runs as far away from you as possible, and becomes a pastry chef.

Ten years later, after all your parents antipsychotic meds have kicked in and you stop being mean to her, she moves into the apartment under your house and in two weeks makes you...

peach pie

chocolate raspberry brownies

blueberry pie

vanilla layer cake, layered with raspberries, blackberries, and blueberries

peach blueberry crisp

buttermilk biscuits

and most recently, a chocolate layer cake infused with raspberry cognac syrup and a chocolate ganache frosting, since my soon to be not so tiny pregnant sister who always tortured me about my weight is coming over for dinner tomorrow, and rumor has it cake is her current weakness.

I now understand EXACTLY what is meant by "Revenge is Sweet"

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