There comes a point in life where one realizes that if you are unhappy, then sitting around and talking about it time after time isn't going to get you anywhere. This place is becoming more dangerous all the time due to our proximity to a prominent border town, and I no longer feel it is a safe place to raise our children. I once thought I could get through anything with a local support system in place but as the physical progression continued it apparently was too much for them to handle because our church family slowly but surely abandoned us. It angers all the more since the people with leadership positions who taught the various classes related to being a Christian and becoming a contagious Christian are apparently exempt from following what they teach. So now our friends are gone, I can't work so that connection is gone, and DH no longer works for the state. The lawsuit against them will continue no matter where we are.
We have an idea of where we want to go, and are beginning to look around at jobs for DH up there. I love our house here, the big foreclosure we got for a steal 2 1/2 years ago and fixed up. I don't know if we could make money on it so soon, but we are in an area where we should be able rent it out to a military family fairly easily. I know a couple of property managers who would handle it for practically nothing each month. It's the home and layout I always wanted, but I also know I can find and make a home anywhere so I can find a place to call home again in the city/state we're interested in.
It's time to work on bidding farewell to this town. No friends, rarely any family as my parents live in Germany and DH's parents spend most of the year several hours away, and the medical care here is disturbingly poor at best and a danger to one's very life at worst.
I don't care what it takes at this point. I don't care if we have to stay in a 1 bedroom studio for a year while most of our stuff is in storage, so that we can pay off our medical debt and save for a down payment on a house. I can put up with near anything if it's temporary, knowing something better is on the horizon.
Wish us luck. It's time for us to take responsibility for our own happiness, to begin the journey necessary to make it happen.