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Dear Phythical Terroritht, I Am Dumping Your Sorry Butt

Posted Nov 29 2008 12:19pm

This isn't working for me.

I despise everything about you today. Hearing your breath makes me want to throw up in my mouth a little.

I hate the new arm bike and the crazy man on the one next to me who wouldn't stop talking about his torn rotator cuff and if he could borrow my cell phone because he needed to make a long distance call.

I hate the 3 lb dumbells you're making me use.

I hate your eyebrow scars and your lisp and your compact little rugby playing self.

I almost liked your hand on my shoulder blades for a split second until you smushed them together and made me do the stupid V on the wall exercise.


When you patted the table next to you and said you'd saved me a spot after the stupid Vs I came meekly over wagging my tail, hoping for a cookie but nooooooo you whacked me on the head with a rolled up newspaper instead and made me do reverse push ups from a squat with my hands behind me.

You made me CRY.

I don't care if my neurosurgeon gave you leeway to make me all tough and strong again. You are mean mean mean and when I saw that you were limping from your rugby practice I took careful note of which leg you were favoring, just so I could accidentally kick it on purpose at some point.

You suck the most of all suckage, and I'll see you again next week.

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