100 Days Without Gluten: Day #39 - Another Perfect Date... Ruined
Posted Jul 08 2009 9:30pm
I am laying in bed because I'm in too much pain to stand. I know the worst will be over soon but the discomfort will linger for days. I just had to cancel a date with someone who always bends over backwards to make time for me despite our conflicting schedules and even though it's not my fault, I still feel guilty. I'm supposed to be meeting up with my friends later but I guess I'll just live vicariously through their Facebook updates. In less than 48 hours I'll be on a plane to California to see two of my closest friends for a long overdue reunion but now the 7 hour trip out there is going to be fall less enjoyable. All of this because I accidentally ate something today that had gluten. I'm not even sure what it was. I grabbed a couple snacks at work because I was busy and don't always have the time to stop and cook from scratch. I had a delicious dinner at my friend's tonight but I didn't think to interrogate him about every ingredient in the marinade or the seasoning.
After 27 years of this, I had grown accustomed to the pain. It had become a lifestyle. But ever since my diagnosis, and especially since I began this 100 day crusade to heal myself, it has started to get to me in ways it never did before. I never thought I'd say this in my blog but... it's just not fair. It's not fair that I am intolerant to what is one of the most widely consumed substances on this planet. I have other foods I can't tolerate, like bananas and pineapple, but their easy to avoid. I only really have to be careful with mystery shots that friends buy me when we're out dancing.
Sometimes, I just don't have the time or the energy to avoid gluten. I miss so many meals because I'm busy and there's nothing close by that is gluten-free. I put so many things back on the shelf because I don't have the heart to go through a label with 20-30 ingredients and compare it to my "oh wait, you can't eat that" list. I always have to make time to eat before going to a party or event because I often arrive only to find that everything the host prepared will hurt my body.
I know this pain will pass and sooner or later I will feel right as rain again but tonight, I just pray to the baby Jesus that the drugs the Belgiums are testing in Europe don't have any crazy side effects and make it to America soon so I can once again eat a sandwich or have a slice of pizza.
It's hard to explain what it feels like to not have your mom cook your favorite dinner on your birthday (lasagna and raspberry swirl cheesecake) or have everyone second guessing every ingredient they use when you come over for dinner. It gets tiresome explaining what gluten is and what foods contain it over and over again. It even makes me embarassed sometimes to have the chef brought out of the kitchen in a packed restaurant because I'd like to eat something other than a salad and the waiter has never even heard of gluten, let alone know what entree it may be lurking in.
Tonight, I just have to deal with the pain. Lunch tomorrow: A nice salad, hold the dressing.