I would love to share a beautiful book with all of you, Your Legacy of Love: Realize the Gift In Goodbye by Gemini Adams. To be honest, I have had this masterpiece in my possession for quite some time, but have personally been at a loss on how to go about sharing it. Everything Gemini touches on struck a personal chord, particularly of loss. I could feel her pain and grief, as well as personally relate to the scenarios that have occurred in her life; bringing her to the question she asked hundreds of loss survivors:
“If one of your parents died, what would you prefer: to inherit their money, or a letter saying how much they loved you?”
The result: Over 90% yearned for a loving letter, not a financial inheritance.
The book begins with Gemini sharing her personal story and her journey; one many of us will be able to relate to. She is an incredible woman who has taken a seemingly catastrophic situation and turned it into something positive. She is open and honest about the pain and the grieving process, allowing those who have been there to confide in her, one page at a time. For those of you who have yet to experience “it” (being the D-word), this may be eye-opening. The hysterical sobbing, the quiet breakdowns in one’s own mind, the prescription and self-prescribed recreational drugs to get by and the “Move on Mantra” are all very real emotional and physical states one travels through while grieving.
Next she moves into “Lonely Landmarks”; special days, holidays or moments in time which hold a special spot in a grieving individual’s life. My first lonely landmark was my twenty-fifth birthday. Just two months after my mother passed, I was sitting on the most beautiful beach I had ever laid eyes on in Thailand…and I was completely miserable. I had waited my whole life to make it to twenty-five. I was going to be a college graduate, married, possibly on my way to having children, owning a home, a white picket fence, a dog in the yard, yada-yada-yada by twenty-five. (You get it). I had the dog in the yard, but that was it. I had nothing except an empty heart and a soul that felt robbed. I would have done anything to have my mom hug me that day and tell me how proud she was of who I had become.
What remains of the book are suggestions of how to leave a loving legacy of your own. Many of you may be reading now and thinking “I have not experienced the grief of which she speaks.” That is the absolute beauty of this book. It is written in a perspective to help everyone, at any stage of their life understand the value in leaving a positive legacy of their own. What if you passed away unexpectedly tomorrow? How would your family and friends feel? What information or “future surprises” would you hope to leave? A card for the wedding your brother has yet to have, a scrapbook to share with your young child when she/he graduates high school or a video left to your sister? The ideas suggested in this book leave those of us who didn’t think of it sooner yearning for such “future suprises.”
Thank you Gemini for your gracious suggestions and devoted nature to the grieving and healing process. Your Legacy of Love is a must read for any individual who is a brother/sister, mother/father, sibling, cousin, significant other or friend. Anyone with an open heart and willing to experiencing love will appreciate everything this book has to offer.
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Sep
08
by Tory
I would love to share a beautiful book with all of you, Your Legacy of Love: Realize the Gift In Goodbye by Gemini Adams. To be honest, I have had this masterpiece in my possession for quite some time, but have personally been at a loss on how to go about sharing it. Everything Gemini touches on struck a personal chord, particularly of loss. I could feel her pain and grief, as well as personally relate to the scenarios that have occurred in her life; bringing her to the question she asked hundreds of loss survivors:
“If one of your parents died, what would you prefer: to inherit their money, or a letter saying how much they loved you?”
The result: Over 90% yearned for a loving letter, not a financial inheritance.
The book begins with Gemini sharing her personal story and her journey; one many of us will be able to relate to. She is an incredible woman who has taken a seemingly catastrophic situation and turned it into something positive. She is open and honest about the pain and the grieving process, allowing those who have been there to confide in her, one page at a time. For those of you who have yet to experience “it” (being the D-word), this may be eye-opening. The hysterical sobbing, the quiet breakdowns in one’s own mind, the prescription and self-prescribed recreational drugs to get by and the “Move on Mantra” are all very real emotional and physical states one travels through while grieving.
Next she moves into “Lonely Landmarks”; special days, holidays or moments in time which hold a special spot in a grieving individual’s life. My first lonely landmark was my twenty-fifth birthday. Just two months after my mother passed, I was sitting on the most beautiful beach I had ever laid eyes on in Thailand…and I was completely miserable. I had waited my whole life to make it to twenty-five. I was going to be a college graduate, married, possibly on my way to having children, owning a home, a white picket fence, a dog in the yard, yada-yada-yada by twenty-five. (You get it). I had the dog in the yard, but that was it. I had nothing except an empty heart and a soul that felt robbed. I would have done anything to have my mom hug me that day and tell me how proud she was of who I had become.
What remains of the book are suggestions of how to leave a loving legacy of your own. Many of you may be reading now and thinking “I have not experienced the grief of which she speaks.” That is the absolute beauty of this book. It is written in a perspective to help everyone, at any stage of their life understand the value in leaving a positive legacy of their own. What if you passed away unexpectedly tomorrow? How would your family and friends feel? What information or “future surprises” would you hope to leave? A card for the wedding your brother has yet to have, a scrapbook to share with your young child when she/he graduates high school or a video left to your sister? The ideas suggested in this book leave those of us who didn’t think of it sooner yearning for such “future suprises.”
Thank you Gemini for your gracious suggestions and devoted nature to the grieving and healing process. Your Legacy of Love is a must read for any individual who is a brother/sister, mother/father, sibling, cousin, significant other or friend. Anyone with an open heart and willing to experiencing love will appreciate everything this book has to offer.