Health knowledge made personal
It is not unusual for adult children to feel left out when an elderly parent moves in with one of the other siblings. They are concerned about how the parent is being treated. They miss the freedom of visiting the parent alone.They worry they (or their families) are being forgotten.
Have you spoken to your brother directly about this? Can you enlist his help to make a visit manageable?
It would be best to try to accomodate a visit if at all possible. Create a schedule that works with your mother's daily routine.Having to deal with 4 or 5 guests while caring for an elderly parent is a LOT of work. Can they stay with other family or friends in the area and just come over for a scheduled time each day?
Is there a park near your home where the children can go to play with adult supervision? They may welcome a break each day from visiting grandma. And, your mother can get a bit of a break.
Can you get help from other family or friends? Ask for help with food, cleaning, transportation, babysitting.
We don't know how long each person has on this earth. We lead such busy lives that it gets harder and harder to stay connected to family far away. This might be the last time her grandchild and great-grandchildren get to see your mother. And you will reassure your brother and sister-in-law that you aren't trying to prevent others from seeing your mother.
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Posted by kwhel
My sister in law who is difficult to get along and stresses my 81 year old mom out want to come for a week long visit with her daughter and her 2 small children. I told her that this would be to stressful on my mom and now she is accusing me of trying to keep people away from my mom. I tried to reason with her and tell to much company for extended periods causes commotion and is stressful. But she can't understand this. I know I am not being unreasonable because my mom is telling me this is how she feels but she fear telling my sister-in-law anything because she will probably keep my brother from coming to visit. Do you have any articles I can show her about how although the elderly enjoy company, people need to understand the time spent with them needs to be reasonable and how many elderly people get stresses when children are around to long because they cause a lot of commotion. Thanks