I have legal power of attorney for health care. This person I take care of is 88+ and has been diagnosed with dementia. Getting worse all the time. Anti-depressants were prescribed due to aggitation and the stress of realizing the forgetfulness, outlived most everyone else, etc. Spirit has become very angry and mean and I don't know if I can assert my position by taking control of the medication and dosages that need to be taken.
You have legal power of attorney for health care. That means you have a legal obligation to see to the health care needs of this person - but it doesn't mean that you, personally, need to do the tasks.
You may find that bringing in an outside person like a home care aide or nurse may resolve this problem with the least amount of stress on you and the person.
You understand that this is very difficult for the person in your care, and you're respectful of this. Communicate this clearly, "I understand this is hard for you; I'm here to help so it doesn't have to be so hard. But I also understand that this is YOUR life and I'm just here to help."
You can diffuse some of the anger and resistance just by communicating that you understand where its coming from. Keep showing that respect, and resist the urge to say, "While, I've got legal status so I'm taking over from now on." You DO have legal status, but that's only for the benefit of the person in your care. Treat him/her as an adult, show respect, and then get outside help to do the tasks that seem to be causing the most stress.
Let me know if this works - or if you find another solution that works!
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