Dementia can affect us in different ways and it is sometimes confusing to understand exactly what it is and why we forget certain things but remember others. The Alzheimer’s Society has many valuable resources to help you understand and deal with these complex issues. One counselor explained this memory loss with a simple analogy that I would like to share with you in the hope that it makes understanding this terrible disease a little easier.
Our memories are stored in a filing cabinet. This cabinet starts when we are born and each and every incident or event is methodically filed in chronological order. When we see a familiar face, our brain opens the drawer and starts to sift from the beginning to the back to find the memory that relates to that face. In nanoseconds, it identifies the memory and recalls the familiar face as “Mom” in the present day and time. This would be the last time that Mom was seen, remembered and therefore filed. This memory is way back at the end of the filing cabinet since the drawer is full of life long memories.
With memory loss in Alzheimer’s there comes a point when the brain starts to forget to file these daily events and in the first stages of memory loss, you might be aware that you are going out tonight but cannot remember who with or where to. You get the feeling that there is something planned but can’t quite put your finger on it. There is nothing in the drawer to remind you, so you call out to your husband and ask him if you have anything planned. He tells you in an exasperated tone that he has told you three times already and you are going to celebrate your anniversary tonight with a nice dinner at your favorite restaurant. The problem here is that memories are getting lost and never being filed. These will be present day memories and not childhood memories. This explains why you cannot remember what you had for breakfast, but can remember in infinite detail your wedding day.
Later as Alzheimers progresses, the filing drawer pulls out but becomes stuck so that it does not pull out completely and your brain cannot reach the last files at the back. This might be the case when you recognize your husband in an old photo but cannot recognize him in his present age. In fact he might look a lot like your father-in-law and you mistake him as such, upsetting him deeply. Your brain is recalling a file that it can access in the stuck drawer, a picture of your husband at a certain point in time and the image of your father-in-law at that same time. There are no recent files to access and so you become quite convinced that your husband is in fact your father-in-law.
As time goes on, so this drawer pulls out less and less until only a few childhood memories can be accessed. You might think your grandchildren are in fact your own children at a young age. You recognize them as children and they seem familiar to you, but your memories can only access images of your own children at a young age. In fact you think of yourself as a much younger person and even looking in a mirror might confuse you into thinking that a stranger is in the room since you cannot recognize the image staring back at you.
Memory loss is disturbing and distressing to all involved but it helps the caregiver and family to understand why they cannot remember. What is important to comprehend is that the person you love so much has not gone away. They may have lost their memories, but they are still here in body and soul and therefore still need your love and reassurance. If you have a loved one with dementia, locate your local Alzheimer’s Association . The information they have is invaluable and can make living with this disease much easier to bear when you fully understand it and discover ways to cope better with it.
Dementia can affect us in different ways and it is sometimes confusing to understand exactly what it is and why we forget certain things but remember others. The Alzheimer’s Society has many valuable resources to help you understand and deal with these complex issues. One counselor explained this memory loss with a simple analogy that I would like to share with you in the hope that it makes understanding this terrible disease a little easier.
Our memories are stored in a filing cabinet. This cabinet starts when we are born and each and every incident or event is methodically filed in chronological order. When we see a familiar face, our brain opens the drawer and starts to sift from the beginning to the back to find the memory that relates to that face. In nanoseconds, it identifies the memory and recalls the familiar face as “Mom” in the present day and time. This would be the last time that Mom was seen, remembered and therefore filed. This memory is way back at the end of the filing cabinet since the drawer is full of life long memories.
With memory loss in Alzheimer’s there comes a point when the brain starts to forget to file these daily events and in the first stages of memory loss, you might be aware that you are going out tonight but cannot remember who with or where to. You get the feeling that there is something planned but can’t quite put your finger on it. There is nothing in the drawer to remind you, so you call out to your husband and ask him if you have anything planned. He tells you in an exasperated tone that he has told you three times already and you are going to celebrate your anniversary tonight with a nice dinner at your favorite restaurant. The problem here is that memories are getting lost and never being filed. These will be present day memories and not childhood memories. This explains why you cannot remember what you had for breakfast, but can remember in infinite detail your wedding day.
Later as Alzheimers progresses, the filing drawer pulls out but becomes stuck so that it does not pull out completely and your brain cannot reach the last files at the back. This might be the case when you recognize your husband in an old photo but cannot recognize him in his present age. In fact he might look a lot like your father-in-law and you mistake him as such, upsetting him deeply. Your brain is recalling a file that it can access in the stuck drawer, a picture of your husband at a certain point in time and the image of your father-in-law at that same time. There are no recent files to access and so you become quite convinced that your husband is in fact your father-in-law.
As time goes on, so this drawer pulls out less and less until only a few childhood memories can be accessed. You might think your grandchildren are in fact your own children at a young age. You recognize them as children and they seem familiar to you, but your memories can only access images of your own children at a young age. In fact you think of yourself as a much younger person and even looking in a mirror might confuse you into thinking that a stranger is in the room since you cannot recognize the image staring back at you.
Memory loss is disturbing and distressing to all involved but it helps the caregiver and family to understand why they cannot remember. What is important to comprehend is that the person you love so much has not gone away. They may have lost their memories, but they are still here in body and soul and therefore still need your love and reassurance. If you have a loved one with dementia, locate your local Alzheimer’s Association . The information they have is invaluable and can make living with this disease much easier to bear when you fully understand it and discover ways to cope better with it.
Article by: Rosemary Charlton