I have to admit that I didn’t attend a caregiver support group while I was caring for my mom.
I started full time caregiving back in 1998 and honestly, I didn’t even know caregiving support groups existed, and by the time I did, Iwas feeling so overwhlmed that if I had the opportunity to dress and leave the house (and leave my mother), I had decided that it wasn’t going to be to go and talk about my mother! Yeah, I’m stubborn.
It’s not that I didn’t need a support group. I’m sure my friends were sick of my griping and whining.
But honestly, what little energy and thought I had were used to continue to parent my children. In addition to my mom’s meds, physical therapy, and every day needs, I also had to think about SAT prep, teaching my youngest how to drive, helping another study for a big test, making sure they attended a youth group–and my spare time was spent driving them or making sure they got to their activities. And that’s the way it should be–that’s what being a sandwich generation parent is all about.
But now I know now that it would have benefited me greatly to attend a workshop, conference or support group–at least a couple of times a year.
Caregiver Support Groups Help By:
- Giving you a safe place to vent
- To know you’re not alone
- To find out about your community’s resources
- To make short and long term plans
- Helping you understand what part of the journey you’re on
- To give you validation and permission to feel all that you’re feeling
So yes, I wholeheartedly encourage you to do a bit of Internet browsing and find out what’s available for you–almost every city and county offers something–an Alzheimer’s Association meeting, an American Heart Association gathering, stroke group meeting or a hospice based workshop.
I know you might not have fully accepted your role, your “name tag” as caregiver. That’s a big step.
That means you’re at the top of a really big hill–and we all know where it’s headed. But I promise you’ll feel more relief in attending than you think.
Don’t Just Attend a Support Group–Also Consider:
- Talking to someone while you’re there and even exchanging email addresses or phone numbers
- Ask a question–chances are if you don’t know the answer, others don’t know it either–and would really appreciate your candor
- Get info, lots of info–and follow up, make some calls or check out various groups on the web
- Many home health organizations attend these workshops–you could find some great resources, so look around
- Begin to take pride in your caregiver’s “badge of honor.” Get educated. Help others. Be okay that this is who you are and where you are–for now.
One last thing-
I hope you’ll step outside your comfort zone and sign up for yoga, take a computer course at the community college, get Rosetta Stone and learn a language.
I know, you’re exhausted. Overwhelmed. Too numb to live your pinky finger.
Don’t let caregiving shut your personal growth completely down. It doesn’t have to.
Carve out an hour a week for a class. Carve out 15 minutes a day to learn to knit or practice your Spanish verbs.
Learning and moving is absolutely vital to your body–and soul.
It even makes you a better caregiver.
Go on, type in caregiver support group, and the name of your city or area.
Find out what’s available.
Finding new friends and resources is a good a thing.
~Carol D. O’Dell
Author of Mothering Mother: A Daughter’s Humorous and Heartbreaking Memoir
I have to admit that I didn’t attend a caregiver support group while I was caring for my mom.
I started full time caregiving back in 1998 and honestly, I didn’t even know caregiving support groups existed, and by the time I did, Iwas feeling so overwhlmed that if I had the opportunity to dress and leave the house (and leave my mother), I had decided that it wasn’t going to be to go and talk about my mother! Yeah, I’m stubborn.
It’s not that I didn’t need a support group. I’m sure my friends were sick of my griping and whining.
But honestly, what little energy and thought I had were used to continue to parent my children. In addition to my mom’s meds, physical therapy, and every day needs, I also had to think about SAT prep, teaching my youngest how to drive, helping another study for a big test, making sure they attended a youth group–and my spare time was spent driving them or making sure they got to their activities. And that’s the way it should be–that’s what being a sandwich generation parent is all about.
But now I know now that it would have benefited me greatly to attend a workshop, conference or support group–at least a couple of times a year.
Caregiver Support Groups Help By:
So yes, I wholeheartedly encourage you to do a bit of Internet browsing and find out what’s available for you–almost every city and county offers something–an Alzheimer’s Association meeting, an American Heart Association gathering, stroke group meeting or a hospice based workshop.
I know you might not have fully accepted your role, your “name tag” as caregiver. That’s a big step.
That means you’re at the top of a really big hill–and we all know where it’s headed. But I promise you’ll feel more relief in attending than you think.
Don’t Just Attend a Support Group–Also Consider:
One last thing-
I hope you’ll step outside your comfort zone and sign up for yoga, take a computer course at the community college, get Rosetta Stone and learn a language.
I know, you’re exhausted. Overwhelmed. Too numb to live your pinky finger.
Don’t let caregiving shut your personal growth completely down. It doesn’t have to.
Carve out an hour a week for a class. Carve out 15 minutes a day to learn to knit or practice your Spanish verbs.
Learning and moving is absolutely vital to your body–and soul.
It even makes you a better caregiver.
Go on, type in caregiver support group, and the name of your city or area.
Find out what’s available.
Finding new friends and resources is a good a thing.
~Carol D. O’Dell
Author of Mothering Mother: A Daughter’s Humorous and Heartbreaking Memoir