O bed! O bed! delicious bed! That heaven upon earth to the weary head.~ Thomas Hood, Miss Kilmansegg - Her Dream
It has been a week since Mum went into the nursing home. I have been sleeping 10-12 hours a night and having an afternoon nap on weekends as well. I knew I was exhausted but I did not realise the full extent of my tiredness. I can only compare it to when my children were babies, waking up in the night for feeds. But that only lasted a matter of 6-8 weeks, this has lasted a year.
I feel a bit lost now when I am home. It is so long since I have been in the house on my own, or just with my husband. I have not been out anywhere except to work and the movies (with Mum) for the last year. What did I do with free time before I was a carer?
The first day my husband and I were home alone together we both found it very strange. What did we do? We fell asleep in our chairs.
The other thing I have realised is that Mum was a lot worse than I thought. She has needed full time care for a long time and her dementia is progressing rapidly. It is clearer to me now that I am not living with her. I talk to her on the phone each night and she seems to like the place where she is and likes the staff, but she has trouble remembering much or that I have called her the day before.
I am so glad now that she is in care. It is time for me to try and recover my health and my career. I have a heap of medical tests to get done that I have been 'too busy' for and once I stop sleeping so much I want to get back into my work and start enjoying life again.