Several years ago I refused to allow my mother to be medicated with depression drugs. Instead, I decided to work very closely with her to try to bring her out of her "funk". Exercise, a good diet, lots of patience and fostering a "secure environment" worked.
Later I discussed my mother's incontinence with her doctor. He told me he could "prescribe" something. With Alzheimer's as a variable in the equation I decided against it. I tired to get my mother to visit the toilet as often as possible. While this was very trying and difficult, I was eventually able to get her into a pattern of going even when she did not feel it was necessary.
It takes lots of patience and perseverance to accomplish these goals. I am not saying its easy. I do believe its possible to improve situations if you can get a new pattern of behavior established.