I am being selfish but I want this to end - for him, for me, for both of us. Don’t go worrying, I’m not ending it, I just want it to end - we are a long way from “end”.
One of the most difficult things for me is to watch the slide - a daily slide, unstoppable, silent but huge in magnitude. That is one of my biggest stresses. I can spin our world on my shoulders and do everything that needs to be done - but it seems so futile.
A witness to a mountain disaster once said that he expected a deafening roar as the mountain came down but it was quick, monstrous and devastating. I wish. Well, I got 2 out of 3 - it is monstrous and very, very devastating.