I took the kids out for an escape day. Homeschoolers can do that sort of thing. Naysayers think that we do it far too much, but it would interrupt the things that the kids are working on-neither they nor I want to do that.
So we decided that the unseasonably warm weather warranted a day out of the house. I also work from home, so it was nice for me to at least get some fresh air. I lugged the laptop to the car and we went to the park.
Our park is lovely, it has electrical outlets! I was not able to get online, but could work while the kids ran around and played.
We grabbed lunch and stayed for almost three hours. While we were there, we talked a lot about the house, our family and basically *things*. Some points I heard, that stand out in my mind are:
Grandma is so mad at us all the time.
We never have fun family dinners anymore
Your forehead has wrinkles in it now, are you always mad?
Ack! Out of the mouths of babes. I realize that no one *always, never* anything, but I think I need an attitude adjustment. I spend so much time keeping all the balls in the air, that I forget about the emotional part of it for the kids.
Genbetween to me, means adding more things to my already full plate. I am a full time mom, farmer, wife and now elder caregiver. I know that I am always tired-that started 14 years ago. I also know that I am a nighttime worrier and family busybody. I like to know what everyone is doing, pretend I know what they are thinking and over think how my actions affect everyone around me.
In doing what I feel is taking care of everyone else, is actually a self imposed exile from enjoying my family in any capacity.
I do NOT like this self-reflection. It feels like a reprimand of sorts. I suppose it really is.
This is a loving moment of truth from my children. They are still young enough that their world revolves around me and my temperament. I think I wallow in self pity and that is a slippery slope.
My kids really need less overthinking, and more of the simple pleasures of parenting.