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Friday, October 7, 2011

Posted Oct 07 2011 11:09am
On numerous occasions lately I have been shown some rather incriminating photos. All of which lead me to believe... I am a dancing fool!

Throwing my reservations out the window and cutting a rug is apparently something that I do. Who knew?

It makes sense to me in the morning when I wake up with a massive hangover that there is a pattern developing. I drink too much. I hear music. I start dancing.

How to break the cycle? Some might think just quit drinking so much but where is the fun in that! I just need to gather all cameras and cell phones before I start drinking! This will eliminate the incriminating photos! Sounds do-able right?!

Happy Friday! 


Beer Troubleshooting...

SYMPTOM: Feet cold and wet. beer
FAULT: Glass being held at incorrect angle.
 ACTION: Rotate glass so that open end points toward ceiling.

SYMPTOM: Feet warm and wet.
FAULT: Improper bladder control.
ACTION: Stand next to nearest dog, complain about house training.

SYMPTOM: Beer unusually pale and tasteless.
FAULT: Glass empty.
ACTION: Get someone to buy you another beer.

SYMPTOM: Opposite wall covered with fluorescent lights.
FAULT: You have fallen over backward.
ACTION: Have yourself leashed to bar.

SYMPTOM: Mouth contains cigarette butts.
FAULT: You have fallen forward.
ACTION: See above.

SYMPTOM: Beer tasteless, front of your shirt is wet.
FAULT: Mouth not open, or glass applied to wrong part of face.
ACTION: Retire to restroom, practice in mirror.

SYMPTOM: Floor blurred.
FAULT: You are looking through bottom of empty glass.
ACTION: Get someone to buy you another beer.

SYMPTOM: Floor moving.
FAULT: You are being carried out.
ACTION: Find out if you are being taken to another bar.

SYMPTOM: Taxi suddenly takes on colorful aspect and textures.
FAULT: Beer consumption has exceeded personal limitations.
ACTION: Cover mouth.

SYMPTOM: Everyone looks up to you and smiles.
FAULT: You are dancing on the table.
ACTION: Fall on somebody cushy-looking.

SYMPTOM: Beer is crystal-clear.
FAULT: It's water. Somebody is trying to sober you up.
ACTION: Punch him.

SYMPTOM: Don't recognize anyone, don't recognize the room you're in.
FAULT: You've wandered into the wrong party.
ACTION: See if they have free beer.

SYMPTOM: Your singing sounds distorted.
 FAULT: The beer is too weak.
ACTION: Have more beer until your voice improves.

SYMPTOM: Don't remember the words to the song.
FAULT: Beer is just right.
ACTION: Play air guitar.

Doctor Check-up... 
 Smoking & drinking joke
This Weeks Quote... "Drinking beer doesn't make you fat, it makes you lean....Against bars, tables, chairs, and poles."~ Anonymous
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