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Friday, June 11, 2010

Posted Jun 11 2010 8:50am
During a discussion with a co-worker about this week's topic she said, "You haven't written about your daughter in quite awhile." That got me thinking. Why haven't I mentioned my little princess lately? Oh! Maybe because she NEVER calls her mother!

There was a time when she was in college I could entice her with food, money, stories about her little nephews or threats of a personal visit, all of which would result in a "home visit."

These days I believe I must become more creative. Here are some ideas I've come up with
  1. Email her a picture of my mail order groom.
  2. Win the lottery and mail her a copy of the newspaper announcement.
  3. Call and leave a voice mail that I'm pregnant ... and it's a girl!
  4. Text message that I heard a rumor she's been removed from Grandpa & Grandma's will.
  5. Move downtown to a condo in a wealthy 20 something neighborhood, complete with a built in kegerator. Hey! This just might be a win-win....
Wendy Finch

The Babysitter...

A young man agreed to baby-sit one night so a single mother could have an evening out. At bedtime he sent the youngsters upstairs to bed and settled down to watch football.

One child kept creeping down the stairs, but the young man kept sending him back to bed.

doorbellAt 9pm the doorbell rang, it was the next-door neighbor, Mrs. Brown, asking whether her son was there. The young man brusquely replied, "No."

Just then a little head appeared over the banister and shouted, "I'm here, Mom, but he won't let me go home!"

9 months...
9 months joke

Advice to be passed on to your daughters...
  1. Don't imagine you can change a man - unless he's in diapers.
  2. What do you do if your boyfriend walks-out? You shut the door.
  3. If they can put a man on the moon - they should be able to put them all up there.
  4. Never let your man's mind wander - it's too little to be out alone.
  5. Go for younger men. You might as well - they never mature anyway.
  6. Men are all the same - they just have different faces so that you can tell them apart.
  7. Women don't make fools of men - most of them are the do-it-yourself types.
  8. Best way to get a man to do something, is to suggest he is too old for it.
  9. Love is blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener.
  10. If he asks what sort of books you're interested in, tell him checkbooks.

This Weeks Quote...
"If it's true that girls are inclined to marry men like their fathers, it is understandable why so many mothers cry so much at weddings."

~ Anonymous
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