I have turned caregiver very recently when my wife's mother moved in with us. She just turned 79 and has been battling type 2 diabetes for more than 20 years. She is a fiercely independent and lovely lady, but age and diabetes have taken their toll. We did not feel comfortable putting her in a home and decided to take care of her ourselves. We thought being with family is the best bet. It took almost a year of convincing for her to move in with us. The problems started almost immediately. She did not inform us where she was going and refused to use medical alarm when she went out or was alone at home. She did not like change in her routine and was as stubborn as my children when it came to listening to us. We dint know what to do. After a lot of research and reading up, we came across a lot of articles on how to treat elderly parents. This was one of the best ones. It's from a website called called caring.com
This really helps in understanding them. Treating them as invalid and like children results in immediate resentment . It's best to try and understand them and givethem their space. Just like teenagers :). We are collectively working towards it now and it relationship is much better now. There are some difficult days, but most of the days are good.