I think you will be surprised to learn that I can now remember every single detail of my life. All of it. The good and the bad. All the memories.
You know what I learned up here?
The bad stuff happens so you can be reminded of the good stuff.
It all fits together nicely when you think about it.
Which brings me to the first order of the day.
Here is what I want you to do.
I want you to get all comfy cozy and I want you to look at the person you know who is deeply forgetful. Most of you usually refer to the person who is deeply forgetful as the Alzheimer's patient (or dementia patient). Stop doing that.
Once you are all comfy cozy, I want you to look at the person who is deeply forgetful and think about the best time or the happiest moment you ever had with them. Take your time it will come to you. Concentrate. Oh yeah, before I forget, I can concentrate again now that I am up here.
Are you thinking about the happy time? Are you smiling? If you are not smiling and or laughing, start over. You are not there yet.
Are you done with the above? Do you have good clear image in your head? Did you create a memory?
I want you to think about this happiest time or moment, and I want you to get a good clear image of it in your head. Take your time. Concentrate. Get it firmly set in your brain for recall. Create the memory.
Now that you have the image firmly in your head, I want you to try and feel your heart. Relax take your time. Can you feel your heart? If not, start over.
This might take a little time and practice. Practice makes perfect.
I want you to look at the person who is deeply forgetful and I want you to pull up this memory. Take your time. I want you to do that everyday from now on. Just remind yourself a few times each day to do it. Don' be lazy, do it.
After five or ten days come back here and put in a comment below, and let Bobby know you did it. Or better yet, how about you write a little story and send it in to the Alzheimer's Reading Room for publication. I don't think Bobby will mind me inviting you to write. After all, without me this place, the ARR, would never have existed.
If you want, you can also type in, Kiss my butt Bobby, along with your comment.
Once you start doing the exercise above your brain will change. You will start looking at the deeply forgetful in a new light. A new bright light.
Your memory will be your guide.
You will be reminded each time you recall the memory that this is in fact the person you know. No more sad sack stuff about this person. Just one good memory. Although, you are welcome to add additional good memories as you go.
Don't forget to bookmark the link to this page so you can come back and make your comment. Bobby taught me how to do that in 1994, believe it or not.
Just so you know, we don't have the Internet up here. We don't need it. Everything, and I mean everything is Interconnected.
We pray all the time, up here, that those of you who are still alive will find a way to get better connected.
Like Bobby has been saying for 30 years, everyone gets to choose. I now know he is right. Everyone gets to choose. But here is the thing, you also get to change your mind and choose again. Choosing to change the future is a good thing, you can't change the past.
Bobby believes every caregiver gets to choose burden or Joy. So do your new memory exercise that I suggested and see what happens.
You are on your way.
Thanks to all my fans and friends for being so kind.
Cheerio. I'm English up here by the way.
Dorothy DeMarco, Dotty, went to Heaven on May 25, 2012.
Original content the Alzheimer's Reading Room