Mum is going down hill fast as far as her dementia goes. She has become much more agitated and annoyed lately. She requires a lot of care and much more assistance with self care.
I have times where I can just can't stand it. It was easier when she was happier, but these last few weeks she is not happy. Sometimes when I'm in the car alone, or in the shower I have a bit of a cry. I just feel so helpless, and I can't be there for her. I feel so angry with the family for the way they have abused and abandoned her, and me!!
I don't even have enough words to describe how this feels... mainly I feel all alone in it. My family are great, but I wish I had siblings that I could share it with. I often feel just like I did when we were kids, and mum lived in an abusive relationship. My siblings split and I spent my childhood years desperately trying to take care of mum, keep her safe, and make her happy. Thats just how this feels a lot of the time. Like I'm a kid fighting something that's just way too powerful for me, putting on a brave front for everyone, but inside, I'm just scared and lonely.