Hey all! Hope everyone has been well. I know it seems as though I have fallen off the face of the earth; no blog posts in a month, and very few comments on all of my fellow bloggers’ posts. My apologies for my absence.
I have always been resistant to change. I’m not sure as to why I fight change in my life, but I do. Ninety-nine percent of the time, the change that occurs has “worked-out” in the end, and I know I should trust that everything happens for a reason. However, there are the instances of change that make no sense, like why my mother is not here to watch my vision of The Medical Day Planner grow into a reality, and why my childhood best friend lost her battle to cancer and has become an inspiration to me to live my life to the fullest.
Over the last month, I have been taking time for myself, spending time with those I care about and coming to grips with the change that lies ahead. Oh yes, and completing a major project I set out to complete three years ago!
I have spent the last decade of my life caring for my family and receiving their support in return. Being a caregiver has become my identity, literally. I almost have no clue who I am if I am not caring for the men in my life. I am fully aware that they are all self-sufficient and are capable of being on their own, but am I capable of being on my own?
In the next few weeks, my life will forever change. The Medical Day Planner will be released in bookstores May 12th. A small, “silly” vision I had on a beach in Thailand has come to fruition. I will be working around the clock to market this project, send out copies to all of my blogging friends and speaking with medical facilities in hopes of helping every caregiver avoid (or simply navigate) the hurdles I was forced to jump. My dad, the person I spend the most time with besides my boyfriend, has taken a job in North Carolina and will be moving away at some point. Yes, he will be back and forth and only gone a year, but man, this will be a change. And finally, my boyfriend of six years, the person who has held me while I cry at night and made me laugh when I thought laughter would never be an option again, is leaving for a job in Oklahoma. Thank goodness for Skype, right?
So here I go again, facing my arch nemesis…Change.
How do you cope with change? Have you lost your identity?