Can I get help with caring for someone with cancer?

Caring for a friend or relative with a condition such as cancer is an extremely important role to take on. Becoming a caregiver can be very rewarding, and supporting them through a difficult time can really help to improve their quality of life.

But caring can also be both physically and emotionally tiring. It is perfectly normal for you to need some support and advice. There is a lot of help available, for both you as the caregiver, and the person you're caring for. Don't be afraid to let people help you - accepting help does not mean that you're not a good caregiver.

Emotional support

It's usual for caregivers to experience a range of emotions, and often have times of feeling upset, irritable, or lonely. Your emotional wellbeing is very important, and there are a number of ways you can get the support you need.

Talking to someone is often the best way to let out any worries and concerns. Some caregivers find that talking openly with the person they're caring for can be a great relief, and can even make them closer. For others, this just doesn't feel right, and find that they are able to talk more openly with another friend or relative. Those around you won't always automatically know that you need to talk, so don't wait to be asked. They will usually be more than happy to hear that they can help in some way.

If that still feels too close to home, consider trying counseling - your doctor can refer you - or talking to others in the same situation as you at a support group. Classes and therapies such as yoga and massage can also help to relive tension and help you relax. Just taking a break can often help you feel more able to cope.

If you feel particularly low or depressed, or that you can't cope, always speak with your doctor as soon as possible. They will be able to offer advice about counseling and/or medication, and local services that may be able to help with caring for your relative or friend.

Help with practical issues

Family and friends can also be a great source of support when it comes to practical issues. If you're able to, ask someone to help out with some day-to-day tasks, such as washing, ironing, cleaning, or food shopping. It could save you hours that could be better spent doing other things for the person you're caring for. Plus, it could really take the pressure off you for a while. Try building up a network of helpers that can help out on a regular basis, even if it's just doing something small.

Your doctor or nurse can also refer you to a care manager or social worker, who can then assess what support you, and the person you're caring for, need. As well as being someone to talk to, they can also arrange a number of services to help you, such as:

• Meals on wheels - if you are out during the day, meals can be delivered for your friend or relative, supplied by your local authority or a commercial organization. You usually have to pay for this service.
  
• Care attendants - often run by voluntary organizations or health services, care attendant schemes can send a trained person to your home to help with light housework, and washing and dressing the person who is ill. You may have to pay for this service.
  
• Sitting services - it can be arranged for someone to sit with the person you are caring for, in order to allow you to have a break, or take time to get other things done. They will sometimes be able to stay overnight.
  
• Laundry service - if you are needing to wash a lot of bed linen, you may be entitled to help with laundry costs.
  
• Respite care - it is sometimes possible for the person who is ill to stay in a hospice, nursing home, or residential home, for a short time, so that they, and their caregiver, can have a break.
  
• Equipment and adaptations to your home - an occupational therapist will be able to arrange any appropriate equipment you might need, such as a wheelchair, and adaptations to your home, such as putting handrails up on certain walls.
  
• Benefits advice - your care manager will be able to advise you about any benefits you are entitled to if you are unable to support yourself financially because of your caring duties.

Coping financially

If you are currently working, but thinking of leaving your job because of the amount of time you are needed at home, it may be worth talking to your employer first about the possibility of working flexible hours or working from home. Some caregivers are able to continue working by making an arrangement with their employer.