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Broken Promises –

Posted Dec 23 2009 5:33pm

“I’ll never put you in an old age home.”


Of all the situations we encounter through caring for an aging parent, the moment many of us dread most is the one where we will have to talk to our parents about moving out of their current residence and into ‘a home’.

The need for this is usually sudden, resulting from illness or injury, and can catch us off guard.

To worsen matters, many of us promised, thinking we would have no problem making good on this, to never put our parents into an ‘old age home’.

We thought keeping them in their own home would require some work on our part, but we didn’t mind that.

Now, with an unexpected injury or illness taken into consideration, we realize that our parents, once so able, cannot be cared for properly while they are still in the family home.  And frankly, alone at home they may be at risk from further injury or accident.

Our promise had to be broken.

It’s an awful feeling to know you have done the right thing, yet let your parents down.

If you are currently facing this situation it can help you and it can help others to talk about it here through the ‘It Helps to Talk’ forum.  Talking about it can lessen the guilt you feel in breaking the promise.  And it is an invitation to others to share their ideas, insights and practical suggestions.

For instance you may want to know –

  • How have others handled a situation like yours?
  • What makes it so difficult to have these conversations with our parents?
  • Where do you start?

If you have already had to face the situation of the ‘broken promise’ we would like you to share your story with us so others may benefit from your experience.

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