"Bob, I think you do not tell us all the negatives in your life. We probably all think everything is just fine - no problems".
I understand that people come in here for the first time and might conclude that I don't have the same problems they do. Easy for me to understand.
However, in the article Alzheimer's Patient, He Still Hollers for Mom I did say, I have the same problem as Teresa and her mother. I had that problem for over seven years -- every day. Still have it.
In fact, if Dotty isn't sick the day starts with that problem (so to speak). "YouWho I'm awake you know." Sometimes I feel aggravated. Why? Because I am doing something and I have to stop.
However, by the time I get to Dotty who is frozen in space, I am not aggravated at all. Why should I be. I knew it was going to happen sooner or later.
We start our day the same way ever day. Good morning, Dotty, come over her. I walk her to the kitchen table. Get all the way in, keep going, keep going, okay your in. Then I push the chair up under her.
What day is it? What month is it? What year is it? Anything interesting in the paper?
Every day, day after day. Do you think it aggravates me? No it does not. Its Ground Hog Day, every day.
Did you see the movie Ground Hog Day? Well at first, Bill Murray wants to kill himself. Then he decides to use every day to learn something new and do good.
Sound like anyone you know?
If Dotty can't see me. Bobby, Bobby where are you? I might think -- right here dumbo. But I move so she can see me and say -- right here mom. Oh, okay. This happens many times each day -- Ground Hog Day.
Every day Dotty does something that is aggravating. But, I don't get aggravated for more than a few seconds. Now if you talk to me right after one of these episodes you might conclude that I was very aggravated. I vent just like everyone else. I vent in real world -- not in Alzheimer's world.
Why should I get aggravated about something I know is going to happen -- happen as sure as the sun rising in the east. Ground Hog Day.
Here we go again.
I will admit this. I don't hold on to anything negative. It is the way my brain is wired. I figure my brain only has so much capacity to remember. So I only hold on to what I believe I am going to need. I throw the rest in the trash.
But if the truth be known. Most of the Alzheimer's behaviors my mother engages in are not negatives to me. They are part of the disease. Ground Hog Day.
Most of my Ground Hog Day is contained in Alzheimer's World. I guess you could say most of those nutty, crazy, bizarre behaviors are in their own separate compartment.
Now if you have been around for a while you read about my on going battle with pee pee. The pee pee war. Lasted several years. 14 sets of pajamas and 24 pair of panties. Wash wash wash everyday. This for a guy that didn't do wash more than a few times a year for 20 years. Ground Hog Day.
Yeah that was aggravation. For years. But, it wasn't aggravating when I wrote about it here. I won the pee pee war. Poo Poo, Poop - E war, same story. Poo Poo war lasted about 4 years. Still have poo poo battles to fight from time to time. Pee Pee too. Ground Hog Day.
Now for those of you that know me here, you know when Dotty gets sick, I really put myself out there. I need help. I need support. I need encouragement. This is where I get it. Right here. Thank goodness.
Here is something I learned and believe. You cannot change the past. You can change the future.
So while I was sitting in my comfortable recliner with my da Vinci pad in my lap all these years I was doing something with purpose -- I was determined that I was going to change the future.
Did you notice in the movie Ground Hog Day that Bill Murray changed the future even though it was the same day every day?
Well I wanted to try and write something negative here in this article, but I can't do it. I'm too busy working on this day, and I can't remember the negative very well.
The Alzheimer's Reading Room is about winning, victory, and overcoming problems that are common to all of us.
So yeah, I might make it sound more positive at times than it really is at times. There is an easy explanation for that. I just can't remember the negative. Its already gone. Behind me by the time I could write about it. New Ground Hog Day -- gotta work on changing the future.
I just can't get all bent out of shape by what I know IS going to happen. I'm too busy trying to figure out what I am going to do about it, how I am going to change what IS.
So everyday is Ground Hog Day. A brand new day that is just like all the other days that came before it. Well there is one difference. I am working all day long to make sure the next Ground Hog Day is better than the one that came before it.
That is what I try to remember. Somebody has to do it. Dotty can't.
Alzheimer's Disease -- Advice and Insight
Bob DeMarco is the Founder of the Alzheimer's Reading Room and an X Wall Street executive turned full time Alzheimer's caregiver. The blog contains more than 2,310 articles with more than 285,100 links on the Internet. Bob resides in Delray Beach, FL.