By Bob DeMarco
Alzheimer's Reading Room
I'm sitting here thinking to myself, the word "NO" got me.
As many of you know, Alzheimer's patients say NO all the time. Constantly.
Ask them if they would like to do something they always enjoyed like going to a gathering of friends and more often than not they will say -- NO.
You know that if you can get them to go, they will enjoy the experience.
If you watched this video last week --
94 Year Old Alzheimer's Patient, Dotty, Goes to the Swimming Pool (Video) , you will see Dotty saying NO repeatedly. At the car, do you want to go to the pool? NO. If you look closely you will see she is in her bathing suit. She also told me NO repeatedly as we were getting ready to go the pool.
On the way up to the gate to enter the pool area Dotty is saying, NO, I am not going to the pool.
Even when she is partially in the pool, on the steps and in the water, she says NO.
Meanwhile, all the time I am ignoring the NO and leading her by her hand to the objective -- into the pool and into the water.
As usual, when we get home Dotty is happier, more communicative, and "more there". Happens every time.
Not only does Dotty end up having a better day, so does the Alzheimer's caregiver -- that is me, Bob.
So I sit here thinking about 4 years ago when we were about to adopt a cat. We finally pick the cat -- a cat that looked like Mickey Mouse -- and Dotty goes nutso. She starts saying in a loud voice, I don't want that dame cat. If you get that cat I don't want it to come near me. I won't take care of the cat.
The adoption people look at me and gently tell me, maybe you should think this over and come back. I think for a second and then it dawns on me. This is their kind way of telling me -- you won't get approved to adopt the cat.
So I fold up like an accordion and that was that.
Lately, Dotty has been saying she wants to get a Parakeet.
Dotty always had a parakeet since I was a little boy. I remember when I was about 6 years old that our parakeet got out the door and started flying away. Dotty went out and started talking to the parakeet and he flew back and landed on her finger. She took him back in the house.
We all stood there and then started laughing.
So last night, I look in Dotty's parakeet cage and there is a plastic parakeet. I take it out and walk over to Dotty and say, look we have a parakeet. Then she goes nuts. And I mean, nuts.
It finally dawns on me she thinks the parakeet is dead and she doesn't want it near her. Anywhere near her.
I try to explain its plastic as I walk up to her holding the parakeet and she goes double nutso. Actually, yelling and recoiling.
At this point, I understand I will never be able to explain to her it is a toy parakeet. She actually bought this plastic parakeet to keep her real parakeet company.
I decide, we will get Dotty a parakeet.
So here I sit, thinking about the power of NO.
I wonder what is going to happen when I take Dotty to get our new, real live, parakeet?
What is her reaction going to be? If she says NO, should I get the parakeet anyway? I know that she really does want a parakeet, and I think it would be a good thing.
I'll let you know on the parakeet.
Meanwhile, we will be getting a cat because I know for sure that is going to be a good thing. For Dotty and for me.
Now all I have to do is figure out how to accomplish this dual mission, and make sure the cat doesn't attack or eat the parakeet.
Alzheimer's Disease -- Advice and Insight
Bob DeMarco is the Founder of the Alzheimer's Reading Room and an Alzheimer's caregiver. Bob has written more than 2,101 articles with more than 272,100 links on the Internet. Bob resides in Delray Beach, FL.
Original content Bob DeMarco, the Alzheimer's Reading Room
By Bob DeMarco
Alzheimer's Reading Room
I'm sitting here thinking to myself, the word "NO" got me.
As many of you know, Alzheimer's patients say NO all the time. Constantly.
Ask them if they would like to do something they always enjoyed like going to a gathering of friends and more often than not they will say -- NO.
You know that if you can get them to go, they will enjoy the experience.
If you watched this video last week -- 94 Year Old Alzheimer's Patient, Dotty, Goes to the Swimming Pool (Video) , you will see Dotty saying NO repeatedly. At the car, do you want to go to the pool? NO. If you look closely you will see she is in her bathing suit. She also told me NO repeatedly as we were getting ready to go the pool.
On the way up to the gate to enter the pool area Dotty is saying, NO, I am not going to the pool.
Even when she is partially in the pool, on the steps and in the water, she says NO.
Meanwhile, all the time I am ignoring the NO and leading her by her hand to the objective -- into the pool and into the water.
As usual, when we get home Dotty is happier, more communicative, and "more there". Happens every time.
Not only does Dotty end up having a better day, so does the Alzheimer's caregiver -- that is me, Bob.
So I sit here thinking about 4 years ago when we were about to adopt a cat. We finally pick the cat -- a cat that looked like Mickey Mouse -- and Dotty goes nutso. She starts saying in a loud voice, I don't want that dame cat. If you get that cat I don't want it to come near me. I won't take care of the cat.
The adoption people look at me and gently tell me, maybe you should think this over and come back. I think for a second and then it dawns on me. This is their kind way of telling me -- you won't get approved to adopt the cat.
So I fold up like an accordion and that was that.
Lately, Dotty has been saying she wants to get a Parakeet.
Dotty always had a parakeet since I was a little boy. I remember when I was about 6 years old that our parakeet got out the door and started flying away. Dotty went out and started talking to the parakeet and he flew back and landed on her finger. She took him back in the house.
We all stood there and then started laughing.
So last night, I look in Dotty's parakeet cage and there is a plastic parakeet. I take it out and walk over to Dotty and say, look we have a parakeet. Then she goes nuts. And I mean, nuts.
It finally dawns on me she thinks the parakeet is dead and she doesn't want it near her. Anywhere near her.
I try to explain its plastic as I walk up to her holding the parakeet and she goes double nutso. Actually, yelling and recoiling.
At this point, I understand I will never be able to explain to her it is a toy parakeet. She actually bought this plastic parakeet to keep her real parakeet company.
I decide, we will get Dotty a parakeet.
So here I sit, thinking about the power of NO.
I wonder what is going to happen when I take Dotty to get our new, real live, parakeet?
What is her reaction going to be? If she says NO, should I get the parakeet anyway? I know that she really does want a parakeet, and I think it would be a good thing.
I'll let you know on the parakeet.
Meanwhile, we will be getting a cat because I know for sure that is going to be a good thing. For Dotty and for me.
Now all I have to do is figure out how to accomplish this dual mission, and make sure the cat doesn't attack or eat the parakeet.
Alzheimer's Disease -- Advice and Insight
The Alzheimer's Action Plan
300 Tips for Making Life Easier
Original content Bob DeMarco, the Alzheimer's Reading Room