To all my readers… Well to the few of you that still pop in anyway, I just wanted to say thanks for checking in.
My last post was a bit somber and I have taken some time to evaluate what I was really thinking. I felt that I was not going to get to live my life the way I wanted to. then I took a good look at my sob story and realized that's not anybodies fault but my own.
I haven't been writing lately because, well I have been busy living my life. I had a great holiday season with my family all of whom stayed at my house, followed by a new year that included my daughter turning 16. I have spent a lot of time with my family and friends and have had the opportunity to get out of the house quite a bit. The football season kept me on my toes until my Chargers lost but there's still the Super Bowl on the way. I even got to write a game show off my bucket list when Todd and I had the chance to be on Lets Make a Deal. it was a long day but it was so much fun.
I have been waiting for 8 months for the adult memory day care to open down the street and it will finally happen on the 1st of February. That means more time to do the things that I have been putting off for far to long. I have actually been putting my life on hold since my father passed away, thinking that all I could do was take care of my mom. I am over that now.
I felt an obligation to put what I needed on the back burner and take care of everyone else. I have now decided that that is crap. I think so and I know my mother would agree.
My mother lived her life making sure my sister and I were happy and if she could I know exactly what she would say.
“Is this what your really goanna do with your life. Of course you take care of family. They come first. But don't give up yourself in the process. get over this…whatever this is and do something about it.” Then she would make a joke and we would both laugh. and just like with every other heart felt conversation we had ever had, her hand would grip my chin to make sure I was looking in her eyes, and she would say I love you.
Don't misunderstand me when I say I'm doing things for me now. I am still taking care of my mom and my husband and my kids. I am just goanna add myself to the list. I have family and friends that are here in town that can help out if I ask and when the daycare opens I might even go back to work. I'm just tired of feeling frustrated and lonely and helpless. and the only one that can change that is me. I say it’s time for some fun.