When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change - Every day is Fire Season
Posted Sep 07 2008 8:17pm
Day 4 is now complete. One more day this week for radiation, and then I will have 4.5 weeks left. I can do this. But, I also don't need to wish my days away.
Today involved a chemo doc appointment wherein I let me chemotherapist know that visiting her office causes me great anxiety. This is because I feel they are so disorganized. So, with the title of this blog in mind, I let them know what I was experiencing and feeling. Things changed immediately.
Sometimes I think that a part of any journey involves learning how to own your own power and also to learn to speak up for yourself. Being a person who knows all too well about the disease to please, I often find doing this difficult. This would probably surprise a lot of people, but it is true.
Enter Dr. Wayne Dyer and Gary Zukav.
Wayne Dyer is an author and inspirational speaker I have admired for years. I quote him often. The first part of the title of this blog entry is a quote of his. The second part of the title is from Gary Zukav, another favorite and a great thinker of our time. What they both say is truth.
Here's another one from dear Wayne: "What you focus on expands." Another truth.
With Day 4 complete, I look forward to day 5. Not because I enjoy any of this, but because it brings me one day closer to surgery and being finished with this portion of treatment. I still wonder about all those who have had such wonderful experiences with the folks at Vanderbilt. This has not been my experience; however, I'm going to give it my all to try and change the way I'm looking at things so they will change. I know my own attitude has a lot to do with all of it.
I know that hope and positive thinking are vitally important to our existence, no matter what we may be going through or even just navigating our way through a day in our respective lives.
I have already received such marvelous gifts that I would have never received without my diagnosis. Things that make me feel good, like the care and concern of family and friends, people I would not have otherwise met, like Jeff Guidry and his Eagle companion, Freedom, and people I have not spoken to in years reappearing in my life. These are all gifts and I need to let my focus come to rest upon these events.
I need to shore myself back up to where I was before I started feeling defeated today. I know that tonight sleep will restore me and that tomorrow is a new day, with 24 brand new hours to experience and choose how I will experience the day. It is my choice.
Tonight I will hold on tight to that trolley strap of intention, knowing it will carry me to where I need to be right now, and that is in a place of unwaivering faith and hope. Whomever came up with the expression "too much information" really knew what they were talking about! Sometimes it is TMI. That's the present moment message again. The present moment is all we have and all we will ever have.
Day 5 is going to be great. How do I know this? Because I'm going to make it that way.
I leave you (and me) with this last one from Gary Zukav. I will be meditating upon this tonight. Perhaps you will join me.
"All of Life is your partner, and together you create powerfully. Sometimes this happens when it hasn't rained in a long time - when sorrow, loneliness, and despair fill your days, and everything in your life seems brown and dry. It can happen anytime. Your life can explode with potential that had little possibility of developing the day before, if you are open to it. Every day is fire season."
Thanks Wayne and Gary - I very much needed these reminders in this moment.