WhatNext launches a monthly series focused on caregivers, written by caregiver and WhatNext-er Rob Harris . Rob runs the caregiver blog, Rob Cares . Look forward to a new guest post from Rob on the first Monday of the month.The date was May 11, 2006. On that date, we were informed that my wife not only had cancer, but was given only a 30 percent chance of survival, may not see the next holiday season, and would need to have her left leg amputated immediately.
That was the day I became a caregiver for the second time.
My initial reaction was what anyone would expect: shock, panic, fear, and all the other emotional responses one would anticipate when receiving devastating news.
It has been just over five years since that horrid day, one I recall as if it occurred yesterday.
Let’s cut right to the epilogue, because the story has a very happy ending…
My wife survived. Yes, she did lose her leg and we are still facing complications as a result, however she is cancer-free.
Now comes the surprise.
An Enriching, Life-Changing Experience
Being a caregiver was the most enriching, life-changing experience I ever could have imagined.
Why?
My wife and I fell more deeply in love than ever before. We have now been married 31 years, and each day feels like a honeymoon. We never take a single day for granted. We know how precious every moment together can, and should be.
We realize that money, careers, what house you live in and what car you drive means nothing when battling a disease that impacts all economic groups of people. Suddenly, everyone is the same. Titles and positions no longer matter. Cancer doesn’t discriminate. The things you once cherished or craved become almost meaningless. Years later, they still are. Materialism is for others, not for us.
We learned to appreciate every day as if it’s our last. At the time my wife returned to the living after her heart stopped beating, we coined the phrase “Every Stinkin’ Day!” We use the acronym ESD on a daily basis. Every night we ask each other, “What was your ESD moment?” This is another way of saying, “What did you do today that made your day special?” It keeps us from becoming complacent.
Random Acts of Kindness
We fully believe and practice committing “random acts of kindness” every week, if not more frequently. We never let those we honor know we are the initiators unless we have no choice. We prefer to remain anonymous. We will buy families meals in restaurants, pay for the car behind us at drive thru’s, pay tolls for one or more drivers, and many other acts that fills our hearts with pleasure.
I have become a caregiver advocate, coach, author and blogger . It has nothing to do with financial gain. In fact, I have been removing thousands of dollars from our savings account so I can offer guidance and assistance to other caregivers, patients, members of the medical community and all those in need. Nothing, other than family events, has made me so happy and content.
All this has occurred because I became a caregiver to my best friend, my wife.
Silent Heros
Caregiving is frightening and, in all likelihood, the hardest job you will ever do. It comes with lots of pain and suffering. However, if you allow your glass to be half-full, or in our case, overflowing, you will gain an experience like you never imagined. You will know your loved one better than ever before and, just as importantly, you will learn more about yourself than you could have ever guessed.
If I could do it all over again, I wouldn’t change a thing.
Caregivers are our silent heroes. I am proud to be a member of this very elite society.
The date was May 11, 2006. On that date, we were informed that my wife not only had cancer, but was given only a 30 percent chance of survival, may not see the next holiday season, and would need to have her left leg amputated immediately.
That was the day I became a caregiver for the second time.
My initial reaction was what anyone would expect: shock, panic, fear, and all the other emotional responses one would anticipate when receiving devastating news.
It has been just over five years since that horrid day, one I recall as if it occurred yesterday.
Let’s cut right to the epilogue, because the story has a very happy ending…
My wife survived. Yes, she did lose her leg and we are still facing complications as a result, however she is cancer-free.
Now comes the surprise.
An Enriching, Life-Changing Experience
Being a caregiver was the most enriching, life-changing experience I ever could have imagined.
Why?
My wife and I fell more deeply in love than ever before. We have now been married 31 years, and each day feels like a honeymoon. We never take a single day for granted. We know how precious every moment together can, and should be.
We realize that money, careers, what house you live in and what car you drive means nothing when battling a disease that impacts all economic groups of people. Suddenly, everyone is the same. Titles and positions no longer matter. Cancer doesn’t discriminate. The things you once cherished or craved become almost meaningless. Years later, they still are. Materialism is for others, not for us.
We learned to appreciate every day as if it’s our last. At the time my wife returned to the living after her heart stopped beating, we coined the phrase “Every Stinkin’ Day!” We use the acronym ESD on a daily basis. Every night we ask each other, “What was your ESD moment?” This is another way of saying, “What did you do today that made your day special?” It keeps us from becoming complacent.
Random Acts of Kindness
We fully believe and practice committing “random acts of kindness” every week, if not more frequently. We never let those we honor know we are the initiators unless we have no choice. We prefer to remain anonymous. We will buy families meals in restaurants, pay for the car behind us at drive thru’s, pay tolls for one or more drivers, and many other acts that fills our hearts with pleasure.
I have become a caregiver advocate, coach, author and blogger . It has nothing to do with financial gain. In fact, I have been removing thousands of dollars from our savings account so I can offer guidance and assistance to other caregivers, patients, members of the medical community and all those in need. Nothing, other than family events, has made me so happy and content.
All this has occurred because I became a caregiver to my best friend, my wife.
Silent Heros
Caregiving is frightening and, in all likelihood, the hardest job you will ever do. It comes with lots of pain and suffering. However, if you allow your glass to be half-full, or in our case, overflowing, you will gain an experience like you never imagined. You will know your loved one better than ever before and, just as importantly, you will learn more about yourself than you could have ever guessed.
If I could do it all over again, I wouldn’t change a thing.
Caregivers are our silent heroes. I am proud to be a member of this very elite society.