Where were you three years ago today? Can you remember? I would imagine that most of you cannot recall, unless perhaps it was a holiday, birthday, something special. For me, three years ago today was not a special event, but it was a significant day nonetheless.
What was I doing? I was taking part of a bowel cleansing (fun right?!), spending time at home (in the bathroom mostly), anxiously awaiting a surgery the next day. A surgery that at the time was meant to remove the "borderline Ovarian cancer" and preserve my fertility. Three years ago today, though I was anxious about the surgery and the month long recovery I knew I had ahead - for the most part I had no idea as to what I was in in store for. I had no idea that my whole life was about to change tomorrow.
Sometimes, I want to go back to that day. January 26th 2004. The last day before I would be told that I did indeed have Cancer. The last day of my life as I knew it then. The whole idea of myself on that day, seems so innocent, so free, so ignorant. Where the idea of future, was guaranteed. Where I felt pretty confident that my future was ahead of me and that anything was possible. I cannot even remember myself like that anymore.
And even though, don't get me wrong I am so grateful to be here writing this three years later. And I am definitely going to silently toast to myself that I am still surviving. And I am glad I am able to reflect on the significance of tomorrow - my date of diagnosis..... I can't help think about how different life was on January 26th, 2004.