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Three years ago...

Posted Jan 27 2009 8:10pm

Where were you three years ago today? Can you remember?  I would imagine that most of you cannot recall, unless perhaps it was a holiday, birthday, something special.  For me, three years ago today was not a special event, but it was a significant day nonetheless. 

What was I doing?  I was taking part of a bowel cleansing (fun right?!), spending time at home (in the bathroom mostly), anxiously awaiting a surgery the next day.  A surgery that at the time was meant to remove the "borderline Ovarian cancer" and preserve my fertility.  Three years ago today, though I was anxious about the surgery and the month long recovery I knew I had ahead - for the most part I had no idea as to what I was in in store for.  I had no idea that my whole life was about to change tomorrow.

Sometimes, I want to go back to that day.  January 26th 2004.  The last day before I would be told that I did indeed have Cancer.  The last day of my life as I knew it then.  The whole idea of myself on that day, seems so innocent, so free, so ignorant.   Where the idea of future, was guaranteed.  Where I felt pretty confident that my future was ahead of me and that anything was possible.  I cannot even remember myself like that anymore. 

And even though, don't get me wrong I am so grateful to be here writing this three years later.  And I am definitely going to silently toast to myself that I am still surviving.   And I am glad I am able to reflect on the significance of tomorrow - my date of diagnosis..... I can't help think about how different life was on January 26th, 2004.    

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