Tonight I finally came to the end of my son's mementos of his past life. There were notebooks that kept an accurate record of vitamins and healthy foods, more so about that famous juice man, what juices to mix with other juices. Back in those days he was very conscientious about eating healthy, and taking care of his teeth. The last page in one notebook was scribbles he had made of his brain and what he was feeling. This had to be a graphic detail of how he was feeling.
It's probably very hard to understand, however he drew this years ago, after the tumor was removed (when his thought process worked better, I assume?) and how long ago I don't know. He never showed this to a doctor or told any of us exactly how he felt. He kept it all to himself, perhaps he feared we would all think he was crazy. I think a lot of strange, paranoid, confusing stuff was going on in his head for a very long time. Yet he kept it to himself and tried to appear normal. Until one day approximately 3 years ago, something snapped in his head, he became delusional and he answered the voices. Did he hear voices for a long time and try to ignore them?
There was also a note book filled with bible verses. The last time we visited him, he was laying on his bed with his eyes closed. Next to his pillow was an open bible. I'm thinking perhaps his sight is not that well, so maybe it's difficult for him to read any more then 1 verse at time. Or he may of lost so much of his intellect he no longer has the ability to understand what he is reading. I think in all his desperation, even now when he has become so illogical, he tries to reach out to God for help. And I ask myself, "by the way where is God, does God hear him?" There is an old quote often used, 'God takes care of drunks and motherless children' but what about the mentally ill?
The first thing he asked us was "did you bring me some Luetin?" We asked him "what is that, why would you want that?" He said I need it for my eyes. So I found some in the drug store, and I prepared to send it to him. Unfortunately the director informed me that the facility will not allow him to have any thing other then what medications the doctor ordered. So my hands are tied of fulfilling that little request. I told the director that he needs to have his eyes checked.
Considering my son was a religious righteous man my last thought was to try to find a minister in his area that might make a weekly visit to discuss Jesus and the bible with him. I found a community outreach church in New Boston, called the Community Church Of New Boston On the outreach page I found an email and this statement "The Community Church of New Boston is committed to serving our community." Above that is the verse "Whatever you do for the least of my brothers, you do it to me" Matthew 25:40" The Rose Meadow Garden Brain Injury Facility is part of that community, so I sent them this email.
I live up in Northern New Hampshire, and I have visited your informative Community Outreach Website, and I wondered if you make visits to the disabled in the New Boston area. My son Jeffrey (age 48) was diagnosed with a brain tumor about 13 years ago. The tumor was removed, and upon the removal of this tumor, he was not able to go back to work, unfortunately he was never the same. But he kept it together enough to live with me, and be some what self sufficient for 10 years. Within the last 3 years his mental capabilities went down hill, and he presently resides at The Rose Meadow Garden Brain Injury Facility, in New Boston, NH. When he lived with me he was a member of one of our local churches. As his illness progressed, he became mentally unstable and he was no longer able to live with me. New Boston is a bit far to travel from Northern, NH. So it's understandable that the Pastor of his previous church would not be visiting him.
He is not mentally challenged, however he's often confused, very quiet, and might appear a little odd. It's a long drive for me to go and visit him, and I may not get down there to see him for some time. The last 3 visits I had with him were very sad because he just lays in bed, with all his clothes on doing nothing. I feel he needs to get back in touch with God and his bible. So If he will accept it, I think a little Christian Guidance might bring him some hope and comfort. As I am not a member of your church, I hope you don't find me to presumptuous if I ask that you, or perhaps one of your Deacons take the time to schedule some visits to reach out to Jeffrey. If you can "God Bless You" I would very much appreciate it. If you can't "God Bless You" anyway.
Isn't this what God expects a righteous, religious person to do? I want to feel very positive about getting a promising commitment to my request. So I will end this entry with a positive thought, and be hopeful that the minister, or a member of that church will find the time to at least try to reach out to my son. If they don't? Well so much for those who claim to have a rightous, caring, heart.