Tomorrow couldn't have come fast enough, but it was here. I kept saying to myself over and over "I am ready to hear whatever it is?"
My examination went as usual and then he said: "I don't see anything suspicious. It looks pretty clear, but I took a pap test to make sure."
After hearing his words I broke into tears. Even though I had to wait for the results of the pap test, I felt a relief after hearing his words. So why the bleeding? Well, according to my doctor it can be caused by a secondary effect from the radiation even three years later or by the strenuous exercise that I have been doing. Wow! Unbelievable.
My doctor called me with the results of the pap test a week later and gave me the good news that everything was NEGATIVE. I have NOT bled since and I'm feeling good.
It is amazing to me that as time goes by we put our fears on the back burner, but it takes one incident to bring them all back. We relive every step of the battle and we fear for our lives all over again. The fear never goes away, but we have to learn not to let it take over. We have to move forward and be grateful for every day.
"To fear is one thing. To let fear grab you by the tail and swing you around is another." ~ Katherine Paterson