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Sunday Night Blues

Posted Jan 27 2009 8:11pm

I hate Sundays.  I am just going to put that out there.  I find it hard to relax on Sunday when I know that I am about to embark on a new week.  My husband believes that it is because my job is overwhelming.  I don't think that is the sole reason.  I believe I am just in a place of not being in the mood to do anything.  And even though I am not in the mood to anything, I can't seem to stop doing things.   Does that make sense????  For instance, today I....woke up at about 9, made breakfast, cleaned up the house a bit, woke the husband, and we shoveled the 20 plus inches of snow that fell on us,  we shoveled for about three hours, walked the dog, came in and defrosted, I printed pics for some friends, I read, I paid some bills, I cooked food for the week and ate some, and baked cookies,  took the dog for a second walk, I showered, did laundry, and now it is 12 hours later at 9pm and I am finally pooped and now I am blogging.  So tell me this, why am I not able to stop doing things.  I just want to be able to be the type of person who could get up on a snowy Sunday and just do NOTHING.    I guess it's because I am just an anxious person, who calms her anxiety by keeping busy and being productive.   I have pretty much been this way forever, but I think it has been exacerbated by several life changing experiences.  I think since I was diagnosed, I have been some what of an energizer bunny.  As if I have to prove that I am well and capable of doing things.   As if keeping busy keeps the cancer away, or atleast out of my mind.

These are days when I miss college I must say.  It was the one time in my life where I recall being mellow and relaxed.  Could be because I was smoking pot pretty much everyday?  That could be the reason.    Hhhhmmmm.....something to think about.  A little self medicating perhaps.

Some thoughts this Sunday:

I have been thinking about Vicki all weekend.  She is an OVCA sister, who was diagnosed in November and having surgery tomorrow.  Please send her your prayers and thoughts.

Snow sucks - enough said.

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