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So close, but just not there....

Posted Aug 19 2009 6:32pm
Today was that day when you are so close to something you can taste it and imagine it and yet you are just not there. My numbers doubled, neutrophils went from 120 to 270, need to be at 500 to go home, everyone even doctors seem to think that will be tomorrow. I am having my biopsy tomorrow at 9:30 a.m. and will have results of my blood early in the a.m., if they are there where they need to be, I will be released to go home. I am so anxious, I am more than ready. Tomorrow is day 26 in hospital, and day 27 away from home. One month is more than enough. We have not told the kids anything, we are planning on surprising them when we get there, I can think of nothing better to do, since we have not given them a time frame when we would be home. So "shh" if you would be around them or see them tomorrow or next day if counts were not where they were.

My counts will be high enough, in fact much healthier than when I came in here, I will be able to do what I like when I feel up to it. I know realistically I will be fatigued, chemo is hard on the body and feeling good around a hospital is totally different than feeling good being Mommy, but I have lots of help and the kids are occupied during the day so I can get some good rests in. We are more than ready to go home and lead somewhat of a normal life with our family.

When we go home, we are not going home to our house. I don't think I even had a chance to mention it yet, but a month or a little more before we found out I relapsed we found out we had mold in our house. We moved our bed to clean back there and found a baseboard that did not look right. Steven called insurance and they came out, we had black mold, the bad dreaded one. From there and having a company come in and air and sample test, we found out we had it in several places. Our playroom and office the back walls had moisture on tests and on air quality tests, plus our dining room under the window showed moisture. Our master bathroom the shower had leaked over a year ago and we stopped using it till we could get it fixed, so when they came out for other stuff I told them about it, sure enough mold had grown on wall behind shower in our closet. The kids bathroom started leaking from using shower so much and sure enough you guess it, there too. So insurance got us a company to clean it and we were set to fix it all, if you are going to do it, do it all at once and we were told we had to move out anyways during cleaning. When we found this out, we asked our friends across the street if we could stay in the extra house that they have, and rent it from them and they said yes, so when we found out we were going to Tampa and the kids were staying, knowing work was coming up, we moved them and all our personal stuff and toys, etc. and spent a few days well.

The mold was all removed last week and the walls in all those rooms were ripped out down to the studs, and cleaned of mold. Monday the company comes back in to test walls and air to make sure there is no mold in the house. We have a company coming out to fix outside walls and stucco to make sure it does not leak again. We have a crack on our back wall and the other rooms and t he decorative bricks on the house water was leaking into them and the walls in dining room and ends of house, so they are off and house will be repainted outside. Once air quality comes back clear, we have a construction company coming in and putting up new drywall, plastering and sanding and then finally we will need someone to clean every inch of the house, the dust will be a disaster. Rooms are blocked off and sealed but all that sanding in 6 rooms, oh how I am glad I can not see it, I do not like construction at all or seeing my house a disaster. So when we are ready to move back in, it will all be new, my bathrooms will be remodeled in the process and it will all be clean, that is a way to move back in. We are very grateful to have a wonderful place to stay, where we can watch work and kids are comfortable, I am not sure they will ever want to go back home, they are content where they are. You definitely realize how much STUFF in your home you do not need, I see a good cleaning out coming in our future!

Please pray for easy bone marrow biopsy tomorrow, I will be awake with local because I did not want to wait for sedation on Wednesday, I have done it many times before, but this is my first time with a new doctor, etc. and pray for neutrophils to be over 500 and I am home eating dinner with my sweeties tomorrow. Your prayers have worked and brought us through a difficult first leg of the journey - thank you!
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