I finally got a straight answer from my pivot nurse yesterday, I was diagnosed with stage 4...( I had alread figured it out myself ) but doctors told me I am not a textbook cause....what?
Looks like the tumor had Protruded from colon....and was considered stage 4.
and as we know it travelled to ovaries....but were removed. Now.....according to scans seems to be ok , for now.
What does remission mean? As far as I can see is that for now everything is ok, mind you I have a appointment with colon surgeron at the end of October, what will he see?
Seems that scans are good source of testing, but not the best, they can only see so much.
So remission means..... good now.....tomorrow is another story...... as I know and many of us know, it can always come back the question is when?
I am not being negative, but it seems, although we are in remission, there will always be that constant fear behind us..with us everyday.
I called my parents from hospital , of course I waited and waited for doctor, just sitting there waiting was bad enough....my mom sounded funny on phone....shaky.... I was fine when I heard the news, but once I called my anxious parents.....I got teary....she started crying on the phone and told me my dad was vomiting all morning waiting for my call....oh my...... this was so emotional for me. I felt bad putting them through this nightmare. I hate this..... dragging my parents through this journey.
I don't like to see them upset, but what can I do?
We go through the surgeries, chemo, etc...but we have loving family around us, and seeing them worry makes it harder , Since I was diagnosed they aged 20 years. I wish I could tell my 80 and 85 year old parents, I will live till I am 80, I will be married someday, be loved, and life will be beautiful. If only that were the case.
I would like to make them happy and not have to worry about me.
So now...... I have to look for a job.... that stresses me, I will probably not go back to the fashion industry...too stressful and they don't hire people who have been out of this industry for a long time......so now what?
That stresses me out, considering there are very little jobs available out there.
I don't have too many options, its a worry and how will I handle a full time job again after cancer? Its different if you have a office waiting for you, but I don't , I was not working when I was diagnosed.
Being 46, ill and unemployed is a problem..... I have to think hard about what I can do, and what I can handle.
The main thing is my health and my family, the rest shall follow....
Take one day at a time, mind you I have cancer rehab to finish.... I did no exercises for about 3 weeks, vacation, then the cold hit me....yes I still have it...
Looks like the tumor had Protruded from colon....and was considered stage 4.
and as we know it travelled to ovaries....but were removed. Now.....according to scans seems to be ok , for now.
What does remission mean? As far as I can see is that for now everything is ok, mind you I have a appointment with colon surgeron at the end of October, what will he see?
Seems that scans are good source of testing, but not the best, they can only see so much.
So remission means..... good now.....tomorrow is another story...... as I know and many of us know, it can always come back the question is when?
I am not being negative, but it seems, although we are in remission, there will always be that constant fear behind us..with us everyday.
I called my parents from hospital , of course I waited and waited for doctor, just sitting there waiting was bad enough....my mom sounded funny on phone....shaky.... I was fine when I heard the news, but once I called my anxious parents.....I got teary....she started crying on the phone and told me my dad was vomiting all morning waiting for my call....oh my...... this was so emotional for me. I felt bad putting them through this nightmare. I hate this..... dragging my parents through this journey.
I don't like to see them upset, but what can I do?
We go through the surgeries, chemo, etc...but we have loving family around us, and seeing them worry makes it harder , Since I was diagnosed they aged 20 years. I wish I could tell my 80 and 85 year old parents, I will live till I am 80, I will be married someday, be loved, and life will be beautiful. If only that were the case.
I would like to make them happy and not have to worry about me.
So now...... I have to look for a job.... that stresses me, I will probably not go back to the fashion industry...too stressful and they don't hire people who have been out of this industry for a long time......so now what?
That stresses me out, considering there are very little jobs available out there.
I don't have too many options, its a worry and how will I handle a full time job again after cancer? Its different if you have a office waiting for you, but I don't , I was not working when I was diagnosed.
Being 46, ill and unemployed is a problem..... I have to think hard about what I can do, and what I can handle.
The main thing is my health and my family, the rest shall follow....
Take one day at a time, mind you I have cancer rehab to finish.... I did no exercises for about 3 weeks, vacation, then the cold hit me....yes I still have it...