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One Month Ago...

Posted Sep 15 2012 12:00am

One month ago today the world I lived in was destroyed.  On August 15, 2012 at 11:15 pm ET the love of my life for 20+ years was taken from me.  Even though the battle lasted nearly 6 years, there is no way to describe the feeling when you love passes on.  No other loss that I have experienced - even the loss of my mother from cancer – can match the emptiness I feel every day.  There is no way one can describe the physical and emotional pain at the loss of such a wonderful and loving wife. 

Today I love and am frightened by our home.  The home we have is beautiful and in a wonderful neighborhood.  But it is the house we created.  Now half of that we is gone.  I dread coming home after an evening out with friends because there is nothing but silence to greet me.  I search and call out for my better half but know one responds.  This is the home we created and I do love it and can’t imagine ever moving.  But where is my better half.

I find myself trying to move forward because that is what Karen and I promised for each other.  But damn it to hell it is so painful.  I know that down the road I will need to consider the idea of dating.  For now, that is long long time away.  I can’t imagine dating as I feel that would violate my vows.  But I know eventually I will have to because that is what I must do and it is what Karen wants for me.  For now, it seems like infidelity.

One Month Ago….


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