I return to work on Monday and am quite anxious to do so! I look forward to being back among my friends and returning to a normal work routine. The trick is that I will now have a new normal, and there is really something quite extraordinary about that, if I look at it right.
My co-workers, bosses, and HR department have been nothing short of fantastic to me, and I feel so blessed. In fact, with my new challenges, the HR department has done everything humanly possible to make my return to work as stress free and effortless as possible. Every time I tell my nurses or friends what my office has done to ensure an environment that feels safe to me, I receive looks of amazement, because what they have done is not the norm. I sure do work for a wonderful place.
The other night I watched It's a Wonderful Life again, and I realized that George Bailey represented, at least to me, what I was going through. We move through life, doing our thing, trying to be good people and do our best, and then when something happens to us, we often feel alone. But, we are wrong. When I was first diagnosed with rectal cancer, I spent a good deal of time in shock. It did not seem or feel real. However, on some level I felt the fear and panic that goes along with the medical unknown, and so I walked the balance beam, trying to keep my balance as much as possible. And, I prayed a lot.
Just like George Bailey, when I experienced trouble in my life, I was shocked to learn I had so many friends ... friends I didn't even know I had ... friends who showed up from the other side of the United States, who I never met before, friends who came running and circled the wagons around me, protecting me, praying for me, and supporting me. What a beautiful surprise to experience.
In this season of miracles, and out of respect for what I consider a miracle of healing in my own life, I want to share a poem I wrote about 14 years ago. Way back then, I knew someone who was in trouble, and they were on my heart. I prayed for them for one year, night and day, and I was blessed to witness a miracle of healing. In this time of honoring our Creator, my family, and my friends, and also keeping in mind the medical challenges my sweet sister is dealing with right now, I think it would be good to remember that miracles do indeed happen:
"When I gaze upon the handiwork of our Lord, I cannot fully comprehend the wonder of His work; it is far too majestic. But when my soul beckons me still, and my heart suddenly fills with the wonder of God's love, I know it is real; I know what God has done, for it is in those still moments that the memory of the miracle God gave me comes to rest in my heart. It is in the moments of silent prayer and meditation that the feelings flow deep within my soul, and I can once again feel the rapture that coursed through me when God blessed me with an answered prayer.
For where there once loomed death, there is now a pink, healthy face. And as I gaze into his eyes, I can see that they now shine from the light of the Lord, for God is the light that glows from within. The beauty of his soul, which had been hidden there, now shines through the clear, blue windows that are his eyes, and from there glows the grace and warmth of a spiritual light for all to see. Somewhere inside myself stirs the knowledge that God is resting there ... waiting to heal another tattered soul." `Tanya Touchstone, 1994`
Miracles do indeed happen, and I thank Creator for mine, as Creator has allowed me to fly on the wings of an eagle (Hanble Okinyan, I believe you were sent to me from heaven above).
Appreciate each day, each moment, and look for ways to earn your wings. Hint: Look to the Source of All That Is from whom all things are possible, as well as your family and your friends. Among them, you will find your wings.