It's 10:20AM on Friday, the last day of our cruise, which is bittersweet because I hate for the trip to end yet I really want to go home.
I am in the Explorer's Lounge with Lou, who is listening to a lecture about navigation at sea. We are in the front row. I have my laptop in my lap, my feet elevated on the couch, and I am clearly not paying attention to the speaker. I hope that is not too rude! There are a lot of people here, mostly men, and they seem to be hanging on every word and every slide.
The paperwork for the clinical trial drug listed a lot of possible side effects. One possible side effect is a decrease in appetite. I'm definitely experiencing this side effect.
It is pretty weird, not being hungry. I've spent my whole life being hungry and interested in my next meal ;^) so in a way this makes the clinical trial drug even more of a miracle drug.
But now I am just not hungry. Early this morning, I ran down to the coffee bar to get lattes and pastries. But when I got there, I realized that I was not at all interested, so I got a latte and a chocolate croissant for Lou and nothing for me. In what universe does that happen?!
What is really funny is that the paperwork for the clinical trial drug indicated that there is not a resulting decrease in weight -- I guess because it is pretty easy to eat even when you are not hungry.
Perhaps this is just the universe trying to make up for the fact that the steroids I had during chemo INCREASED my appetite so that I gained weight during chemo, which seems so wrong.