I cancelled chemo

Hey everyone- I woke up Tuesday morning exhausted. I have been tired and emotional and I just didn't want to go to chemo. I couldn't do it. Doug helped me by telling me it was okay and that the doctor was telling me not long ago that I could take a break, so it was okay. That was reassuring! It doesn't mean I am not fighting, it just means I need a break. I don't know why I am so tired, it could be the heat, it could be my hemoglobin is lower than normal since I have had more blood in my urine from those darn stents than normal. Who knows? But I have spent a lot of the last couple days in bed or relaxing on the couch. Monday I had Ella and I was just so tired it was really hard to take care of her, atleast to do fun, active things with her, which I try to do with her when I can. I am just so tired all I can do is lay on the couch and watch cartoons with her. Which somedays I think she is okay with since at daycare they are so active, that some days I think she just wants to lay low. Oh, it is a hard job, isn't it. Anyway, so I have another couple weeks off until I go back to chemo. Hopefully by that time, I will be ready and rested enough to continue. I am going to go have my lab work drawn tomorrow to make sure I am not anemic or something else causing the tremendous fatigue. Even the Ritalin, which they gave me to help with my energy level has not been helping much lately.

I feel like there is so much more to talk about, but I am blanking on what I want to say. So I will leave it at that for now. I will try to post again soon. If my internet is accessible. When I tried to get on today, I had to do a whole bunch of things to get the internet connected. ugh. technology. take care everyone, have a great week and stay out of the heat! shawndra