This is actually a post I wrote back in June. Though a little out of date, a lot of bits are still relevant, and I figured I should just go ahead and publish it for all to see.
By now, you should have gotten the point that things for me are sort of in a rapid state of stagnation. I've finished with school, I've moved from Pittsburgh, I'm supposedly looking on to bigger and brighter things. Rapid amounts of change, with certain constants. I still have cancer. I still need to block out time in my life to deal with cancer. I'm not even technically in remission, so I still need to be on high alert if I can feel anything change. In the ideal world, my last round of radiation would have obliterated whatever cancer cells I had left. I would be on a set schedule of six month-year check-ups, w/out extra testing or scans, or uncertainty. The drama tagged along with actively still having cancer would be done. And that would be how I wrap up one chapter of my life, in a nice little package, so I can start fresh, with the next chapter. Only minor strings and hassles attached.
If only the world functioned that way.
Am idolizing that sort of situation a little too much? Can cancer survivors really move on with their lives w/out it plaguing them? I almost feel like, and especially for young people, cancer just stays with you. I'm a bad person to judge on this. I've had too many false hopes, and too many recurrences. I think it would take me at least 2 years before I would accept a clean bill of health. And even then, and I know this from the 1 year of "clean" health I had, I wouldn't know quite who I was without the cancer label; how I should react, trying to figure out what really is and isn't worth worrying or caring about.
I think thyroid cancer has its own special ways of reminding us we will never be better, or who we were before. You lose an organ. A whole one, right off the bat. You will be taking a pill every day for the rest of your life. And for young adults, the rest of your life is a pretty long time.
Which leads me to the question... is it different for older people? People who have solid lives; who aren't necessarily at a point of massive change? People with jobs, and families, and homes?
If you need help moving on from cancer, please visit www.moveonfromcancer .com. With support from this site you can wrap up the cancer chapter of your life, and start afresh with the next chapter. The help you need is out there!