Since the last post, TB has had his ups and downs. Mostly ups, but when he’s down he’s really there. On Monday he had an ortho appointment at which the doctor told him that the portion of the scar on the front of his knee could get infected. Therefore, his suggestion is that TB goes in and had that part re-opened and re-stitched. That’s not happening until he’s feeling better and he’s not there yet.
I don’t think he actually HAS to do that, it’s more of a precaution than anything. When TB went to his oncologist appointment on Tuesday, the PA (Physician’s Assistant) took a look at it and didn’t agree or disagree on the ortho’s recommendation. But if I recall correctly, she thought it was fine right now as there isn’t any discharge of any kind.
Anyway, on Monday TB was just wiped out. I thought sure he wouldn’t even be able to make it to his appointment, he was all hunched over on the love seat trying to get the energy up to just stand.
The ortho’s regular office is not the one that TB goes to for his checks – he goes to our regular clinic where the ortho is for a number of hours one day a week. Just as TB is getting into his friend’s truck, the phone rings. It’s the clinic saying that TB didn’t have to be there for about another 45 minutes as the doctor wasn’t there yet (he was behind at his other clinic, huh, go figure). So here he is sitting in the truck – it took him 5 minutes just to get him out the door and INTO the truck. Like I was going to have him come back in the house and wait to leave later?? Hardly.
His buddy said they would just drive around and enjoy the sunshine. Great, works for me, works for TB.
Fifteen minutes later I get a call asking if TB can come now, as the ortho is almost there. I said I would try to get a hold of them but either way, is TB getting in asap? She said yes.
I contacted his buddy on the cell, he got him there, then brought him home afterward where TB literally just went to bed – until Tuesday when he had his oncology appointment.
I just couldn’t deal with the appointment on Tuesday, it wasn’t a results appointment (results from scans) so I really didn’t need to go. But I usually do when he’s like this (super fatigued – since it could be many different things) but I simply COULD NOT DO IT. It’s absolutely gut-wrenching when he is like this and I was full-up to here with emotions that have been up, down, up, down. It’s so hard to explain this to someone who isn’t or hasn’t gone through what we are.
Here’s the thing. One simply can NOT understand, unless you’ve lived with a loved one with terminal cancer, the emotional toll this takes on you. When you see your loved one hurting, only wanting to sleep, crabby, touchy, withdrawing – it’s awful. There’s not a damn thing you can do about it except persuade them to at least take their pills.
But it’s a fact of cancer life. Unfortunately. But fortunately for us, the friend that took him on Tuesday understood why I wasn’t going. I gave him the med list, the notes about TB’s symptoms, the requests for new meds and shooed them both out the door.
When they returned from the oncologist, they said that TB will go in weekly for fluids (thank goodness) and have a monthly Zometa drip (for the hypercalcemia). I think that will make a huge difference in his moods. At least I hope so.
Last night he was in a good mood, today he’s in a good mood. He went to lunch with a friend to his favorite Chinese place and has been hanging in the living room since he got home. Enjoying his version of medicine. Jazz music, pomegranate tea, and other favorite things.
Tonight we’ll enjoy some quiche, watch a movie, drink some bubbly (I will, anyway!) and just relax.