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Embracing fear

Posted Jun 01 2010 12:00am
Renal Cell kidney

Renal Cell kidney

One of the things that all RCC people have to deal with is a fear, constant, running in the background every time some new muscle aches or when some new blood result comes back a little off. We fear the disease rearing its ugly head often. At least I do. I am scared of it coming back. Most of us I think would admit that. But what do we do to try to wrest some power from RCC and bring it within and use that fear for our own good?

For me, I drink healthy homemade protein shakes of my own creation (organic soymilk, banana, cherries, blueberries, 3 teaspoons of flax, walnuts) and that little drink every morning gives me the mental advantage that I am doing something, anything to empower myself against this disease making a [quick] return. I meditate two to three times a day, which relaxes my body, breathes more oxygen into all my cells, brain included, and gives me the quiet moments I need to focus on my fears and deal with them rationally as opposed to running amok with craziness.

I have been immersing myself into the Ayurvedic lifestyle and that has been teaching me how to be a part of a larger, cyclical universe, I have been learning and working with my chakras.

And I have been breathing. For the first time in my life, my body feels alive with oxygen and happiness.

So it’s with some interest I read this article this morning on the Huffington Post of all places on the concept of embracing fear
Being With Fear

Allowing fear in and making friends with it is no small feat; fear is a powerful emotion that demands understanding and patience. But trying to block it will simply create further anxiety.

Fear comes–we breathe and let go. Fear comes–we see how the mind needs reassurance and tenderness. Fear comes–we replace it with love. When we do this, we are inviting the fearful and anxious parts of ourselves to get to know each other, even to sit down for a cup of tea together.

Meditation enables us to be with fear. As we do this, then we begin to see the benefits of fear, the unexpected insights and flashes of understanding that move us into courage and a deeper awareness. In this way, fear becomes our ally.

In this way, fear becomes our ally.

In this way, fear becomes our ally.


I have seen too many RCC ‘Warriors’ with bravado vow to ‘slay the beast’ and I know it’s all in the name of fear. Of course we all fear dying with this disease, but I think this writer is onto something, as are Deepak Chopra, Bodhipaksa, and many other Buddhist thinkers, who persuade us to relax our minds, bodies, breathe life into our cells, think positively about our healing, and imagine us dealing with our disease with loving kindness, the same loving kindness we give our hearts, our brains, our livers, and our kidneys.

Our cancer is a part of who we are and it needs to be loved and embraced. Taking the warrior stance against my cancer is like trying to kill my gall bladder. My cancer is me. It may be trying to hurt me, but it is me.

And since I started treating it as a part of my body instead of an outside invader, I have been much happier and less fearful.

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