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Closing out the old year

Posted Dec 31 2003 12:00am
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This has been a really great vacation. No upheavals, no major problems/fights/illnesses with the kids, no major responsibilities... really, how much better can it get?

Still, I'm looking forward to getting back to "real life" because the kids are getting to used to staying up past 9PM, which is waaayyy too late for them. DS2 was so tired this evening he actually crawled into bed himself! Poor dear.

Tomorrow, we're going over to some friends for dinner and I still haven't made that cheesecake. I am in semi-slug mode, but eventually I'll get motivated. We're not going over till late afternoon so if worse comes to worse I can make it tomorrow!
Is that bad? I'm stalling because I haven't figured out what kind of crust I want to put on it. When I make it for us, I just skip the crust, but I don't really feel as if I can do that when it's for company, so to speak.

This was a good year, in spite of the continuing medical saga. We had our best-ever family vacation over the summer, and excellent visits from family, here.

The children are simply amazing. We got one of those "Christmas Letters" from a friend of DH's and we had to laugh over all the superlatives he used to describe his wife and kids. It was sweet, really, but at a certain point? Gimme a break! There's no need to regale the world with our DS1's impressive fire-bellied newt project, is there? We could always talk about DD's extraordinary attention to detail and focus, or DS2's truly phenomenal vocabularly and speech ("I've got a great joke for you, Mommy." -- followed by a "why did the X cross the road"-type joke... too cute, esp since he's not even 3!).

Then again, they are still really picky eaters, DD attempts temper tantrums from time to time (always met with either derision or irritation, and she never wins), and DS2 is nearly 3 and is still pretty negative about the whole potty thing. Perfect, they are not. Extraordinary, definitely, and infinitely precious, and I'm very thankful they are ALL mine even though some days I am distressed by their bad attitudes and disrespect. But those things are the exception, not the rule -- we have lots of rules, actually. Rules rule!

DH is my rock, he keeps me grounded and out of depression and focused on reality instead of the things that come climbing out of the pit of despair that occasionally opens up in my mind. Actually, that has not happened in quite a long time, which is a relief, let me tell you! He is so good about letting me know that I am important to him. Those early years of complaints about being ignored must have sunk in sometime along the way. Sometimes I feel -- not exactly guilt, but bad? sad? I don't know -- about everything he has had to endure with me, my most recent (and final, God willing) journey through the Virgin Re-certification program just being the most recent example. Still, if I ever bring it up to him, he just tells me not to be silly, that he wants me to be well and he's quite happy with me. I believe him, too!

So -- home and family are tip-top, but I'm still in a bit of personal limbo. I think the coming months will see some good resolutions or at least, acceptance, on my part. I'm looking forward to 2004!


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