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Career? What career...... Who p..... in your cereal

Posted Sep 11 2009 2:21pm

As a fellow cancer blogger mentioned today,,,,,, I miss being me
Getting up, going to work, seeing customers, travelling on business, my desk, my office, my work stress....going out for lunch with a co-worker
I miss it all.
Today, at times, getting up is a task.... I am not the same person I used to be.
I see the world, people, places so much different now.
I see couples holding hands, so in love and ask myself.....why is that not me?
People running around impatiently requesting this or that..... getting upset at such minor things......and here some of us are......ill.... weak, tired.... frustrated...angry, alone, lost, confused...scared.... and some people don't get it, but how could they? They have not been diagnosed with this dreaded disease.
Funny as I look back, how I used to take things for granted.... today...things are so different, I at times don't answer my phone,, I don't have the energy or I just don't want to say..... I am ok !!!!!!! after a friend asks " How are you" What can I say except ok.... I don't want to burden anybody... and I don't want, I don't return some calls. And some friends don't know how to talk to me.
I had a friend say to me " I did not visit you in the hospital because I don't like hospitals.....DAH..... or when he said, One thing I don't want to die of is who the FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF asked you? Can we decide how we wish to die?
Needless to say, I haven't returned his calls..... I don't have the heart to listen to nonsense....for me, talk like that does not deserve my time
YeaH I was a little pissed , actually still am..... there are things people must not say to cancer patients.

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