I have noticed a pattern I have when it comes to discomfort and/or pain. My attitude becomes less hopeful when I am experiencing discomfort and verges on hopeless when I am in a lot of pain. I am clear there is nothing wrong with feeling less than inspired when I am experiencing pain and/or discomfort and I have a commitment to maintain my positive attitude when these instances arise.
I am clear that the pain is temporary and will pass, yet I notice that I always go to the same way of being when I experience it. I become sad and without hope. It's starting to seem like my default setting for response to pain/discomfort is a pre-programmed response - not gauged on the degree of discomfort, but instead an automatic emotional response that even precedes my assessment of the experience - jumping the gun a bit.
So, I am going to begin by forgiving my body for having cancer. When the thought of forgiving myself for having cancer first crossed my mind, it seemed a bit silly and unnecessary - I DIDN'T DO IT! But I know myself well enough to keep a look out for such thoughts because when I feel angry, judgmental, resentful...I tend to look for an outside source to blame - you know, i start off selfish. If I can't find one, I will turn it inward and blame myself and that would certainly have a huge impact on my well-being.
From where I stand, I don't detect any thoughts of self-judgment for having cancer, but I am clear that we all have blind spots - ways of being that we can not see, or to put more precisely, ways of being we tend to overlook and not notice. I will look and see what's there for me and let you know.