Okay, tonight I am focusing my vague musical analyzing skills upon the album "Strange and Beautiful" by Aqualung. Wikipedia descibes his genre as "Piano Rock"...ah ha...perhaps that is the connection with Coldplay. Perhaps what I am liking so much lately is somewhat sappy. dramatic, "Piano Rock." Coldplay also has a lot of piano. Already getting off the subject....it's going to happen. Lyrically, in this album, Aqualung (a.k.a. a la Wikipedia, "Matt Hales,") seems to come back repeatedly to the line/theme..."THE END"....as in "it feels like the end"..and .."this life can only leave us lonely, there's no tomorrow, just another little tear in my eye" ..and..."The end, it was the end, the sirens were pulling him down." Okay let's slit our wrists now. Just kidding. I am not going to use this music in my "music therapy"! Some of the melody variations and chord changes though, I do really enjoy...he will suddenly start singing "up high"....it's nice.
I hear my grandma singing, nonsensical, apparently improvised melodies and syllables, out in the living room. It is wonderful. What causes her to do that? Everyone is alseep. Well...obviously not me, and perhaps not my dad and Bill now. She just breaks out into song. It is great.
I have received a great recommendation from Whitestone...that I should just get out there and enjoy life! And I appreciate that suggestion and am taking it to heart. It is easiest to hide in bed. But there are things I could certainly be doing. One thing I really should do and that would probably make me feel better to just do it....is to go shopping for some new clothes. It is just time. It is WAY time. I barely have any that fit me appropriately anymore...especially if I wear a bra..and I don't want to look like I don't care. Because that would give the impression that I don't care. And that will not help me in life. :P
I am glad to hear that my ramblings provoke amusement in some of you. :P Though I am at times feeling kind of serious in the midst of a mood swing, it is ultimately nothing....and there is certainly a humorous element to the drama in my over-active imagination. Motivation...motivation....what is my motivation? Why can't I be simply compelled by something...like nice things or sex....or something??? It can be deeper than that. It must be. I just most of the time....am not feeling it like I did once a long time ago. At one point, a long time, ago, life felt so magical and blessed. Things just fell into place. And I felt like I knew it when the right things were happening. That I was on a path...the right path. I have to make things up to get excited and enthusiastic. My real life feels me with a sense of dread. But what is the "real" part of this life? I don't even know for certain. My emotions are all mixed up with my sense of reality...and my sense of reality is influenced by what I think other people think. And by what I think I think. And lately I think I am more afraid of living than I am of dying. And I feel guilty about that.
Can I blame this ranting on Prednisone??
There is a pattern here...thinking I should feel or be something that I do not or am not....guilt because I judge myself as not measuring up....and, oh yeah, the fear and dread that I never will. This is so stupid! I'm sorry, but it is. I know this is all in my head. It's an endless cycle and it doesn't go anywhere. Time to jump off. There is very little, if ANY, physical suffering going on right now....it's all in this silly head. :P This is a "cancer blog"....well, it's my blog, I guess I can say whatever I want. :P
Um....so.....how about Aqualung....
Maybe I should go analyze the chord progression and realize what I like about it. :P
P.S. Had a FANTASTIC dinner and dessert with great company! Thanks for the break :) I already ate my leftovers :P So Good!
I hear my grandma singing, nonsensical, apparently improvised melodies and syllables, out in the living room. It is wonderful. What causes her to do that? Everyone is alseep. Well...obviously not me, and perhaps not my dad and Bill now. She just breaks out into song. It is great.
I have received a great recommendation from Whitestone...that I should just get out there and enjoy life! And I appreciate that suggestion and am taking it to heart. It is easiest to hide in bed. But there are things I could certainly be doing. One thing I really should do and that would probably make me feel better to just do it....is to go shopping for some new clothes. It is just time. It is WAY time. I barely have any that fit me appropriately anymore...especially if I wear a bra..and I don't want to look like I don't care. Because that would give the impression that I don't care. And that will not help me in life. :P
I am glad to hear that my ramblings provoke amusement in some of you. :P Though I am at times feeling kind of serious in the midst of a mood swing, it is ultimately nothing....and there is certainly a humorous element to the drama in my over-active imagination. Motivation...motivation....what is my motivation? Why can't I be simply compelled by something...like nice things or sex....or something??? It can be deeper than that. It must be. I just most of the time....am not feeling it like I did once a long time ago. At one point, a long time, ago, life felt so magical and blessed. Things just fell into place. And I felt like I knew it when the right things were happening. That I was on a path...the right path. I have to make things up to get excited and enthusiastic. My real life feels me with a sense of dread. But what is the "real" part of this life? I don't even know for certain. My emotions are all mixed up with my sense of reality...and my sense of reality is influenced by what I think other people think. And by what I think I think. And lately I think I am more afraid of living than I am of dying. And I feel guilty about that.
Can I blame this ranting on Prednisone??
There is a pattern here...thinking I should feel or be something that I do not or am not....guilt because I judge myself as not measuring up....and, oh yeah, the fear and dread that I never will. This is so stupid! I'm sorry, but it is. I know this is all in my head. It's an endless cycle and it doesn't go anywhere. Time to jump off. There is very little, if ANY, physical suffering going on right now....it's all in this silly head. :P This is a "cancer blog"....well, it's my blog, I guess I can say whatever I want. :P
Um....so.....how about Aqualung....
Maybe I should go analyze the chord progression and realize what I like about it. :P
P.S. Had a FANTASTIC dinner and dessert with great company! Thanks for the break :) I already ate my leftovers :P So Good!