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Always Letting Go

Posted Feb 03 2009 1:22am
My blood & platelet counts were excellent, so I was given the go ahead to receive my next round of chemotherapy treatment today. I arrived home by 3:30 PM and I believe I was asleep by 4:30 or 5 and woke up just a little while ago at 7 PM. I only slept five hours last night and then add todays' treatment and I am definitely fatigued. Another interesting side effect is the tingling sensation in my fingers, which got a little more intense when I ran cold water over my hands. It was quite a strange sensation. It felt like my finger tips fell asleep - more like "pins & needles" than tingling. I don't dare touch anything cold.

My Nurse Practitioner, Sue (forgot her last name) is very cool. She's positive and she has a sharp personality. When I asked her about the side effects, she informed me that they will increase now that I have received this second chemotherapy treatment. The good news is she believes it will only be an increase in fatigue and hand and foot numbness & tingling. She believes I will not experience an increase in nausea. That will be wonderful if she is correct because my nausea was pretty minimal last time and I definitely stayed on top of it last time and took the anti-nausea medicine as soon as I felt the slightest sensation in my stomach - before it even got to nausea. Then add that very effective homeopathic remedy and I think I should fare pretty well.

And I believe this is all a result of one very powerful choice - letting go of how I believe life should be and living it as it comes, moment by moment. I received that advice my friend Mary when she was my coach in an incredibly powerful leadership program and it has probably been one of the most effective tools I have ever had the privilege of making my own. She said something along the lines of, "Bert, you are in a river right now and your hanging on to the edge fighting the current. Just let go and trust that things are going exactly as they should, that all is well and trust yourself to make the right choice when the time comes." That single conversation with Mary has had an extraordinarily positive impact on how I view my life and well prepared me for the path where I currently am in life.

Thanks Mary. I love you and miss you.
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